Thursday, January 31, 2008

January Comes To A Close

January saw a month of many changes. It is hard to imagine the first month of this new has drawn to a close. Time flies and I know this to be true more now than ever.

January started off with a bang. I did my Resolution Run, which seems like ages ago. I started out strong at the gym, that has since faltered. I didn't start off because of New Year's Resolution, but because I want to slim down again, but more importantly I want muscle definition back and to feel healthy! Krista is a great support, but I've rebuffed her invites to the gym that a few days ago, she didn't even ask me along. Poor thing! Hugs, hon!

Todd and I looked at a house, loved it, looked at it again, bid on it and lost it! Damn it! It was THE house. Now we're in the process of figuring out what to do next. Do we buy, do we build? Oh, the decisions of a woman on the go! Since the whole house thing has begun, I've barely slept which is part and parcel why I'm struggling at the gym. No excuses, just what I see to be a cause for my lackluster drive for life right now.

This first month of the new year has seen the start of renovations on my house. I ALMOST have a completely renovated bathroom. It won't be too much longer and it will be finished. I have new doors on all the rooms with new knobs. Looking very spiffy, if I do say so myself. The basement now has a drywall ceiling.

January stitching progress was amazing considering how much I worked and how much work has been done around my house. I was able to stitch 41 hours 40 minutes on 3 pieces. I worked on Job's Tears, Love with a Capital L and Halloween Fairy. I eliminated 3 pieces from my list of current WIP. I just don't think the one gift will be well received, and the other 2, I don't see the person/people enough to commit this kind of time into a gift for them. I feel a little bad for that, but maybe in the future if the relationship changes with the last 2 pieces, I can pick them back up. All three pieces, I love they are, Paula Vaughan's Here Comes the Bride, Hydrangea Harvest, and Mirabilia's Middy. It made me a bit sad to scratch them from my list, but the flip side is I also felt a tremendous weight lift off my shoulders.

February is going to be another busy month. I'm hoping to have the renovations completed on my house and have it on the market by mid February. Todd and I will then have no choice but to make a decision about what we're gonig to do.

February stitching is going to be a good month too, I can tell already. I have 3 pieces that are so close to finished. I should see 2, if not 3 pieces finished. It will be the 3 of the 4 pieces I worked on in January. I think the closest to finished would be Love with a Capital L, followed by Halloween Fairy, then Job's Tears. To say I'm excited is an understatement!

Happy stitching days to you all.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Good Friends, Good Food, Good Times

I just got home from going out for dinner with Kurt, Krista and Mark. It was a very spur of the moment outing and I'm glad I decided to go. I've been so house overwhelmed as of late, so getting out has been good for the soul. It was good food, but the conversation was crappy! Sorry, KP I had to do it!

Last night I went out with Krista. It's been a while since we've had a chance to hang out. We did the Starbuck's and then did some shopping at Home Depot. I'm sure Krista just had a barrel of laughs in there. I made it quick though. Just 2 new door knobs, showed her the laminate flooring and then we were out an on to Pier One Imports.

The house I was telling you about yesterday, the lady had a beautiful wooden table in her dining room. I resisted as long as could and then finally broke down and asked where she got the table. Pier One Imports. Of course, first opportunity I'm at Pier One looking around. The table she had was no longer in the store, but there is a beautiful table there right now. It is on sale too, 50% off. I know I would love to buy and it would pretty much do what I'm wanting, but I just can't justify the money right now. I want to convince myself something awful, but I must stay strong.

I'm going out again on Friday night. Krista, Mary and myself are going to Lisa's for the evening. It promises to be a great laugh. It always is when we're all together. Usually it is only Mary, Krista and myself, but we've now added Lisa to the mix! I love it. We don't get together as often as we would like, as you can imagine co-ordinating 4 schedules of 4 very busy women, it gets to be a challenge. I think some times that makes the time together that much more special.

I've never been one to make friends with girls all that well. That is until recently. I have some incredible girlfriends. I couldn't be more blessed with the women I call 'friend'. Each friend fits a different need and demands different things from me. When I say demands, I in no way mean 'demands' as a negative. I guess, brings out something different in me. It is wonderful. I get to be me, the real me and they still love me for that. What could be better. Each friend has come in to my life at different times, in different ways and represents a small piece of me on so many levels. I truly am blessed with the quality of women I have surrounding me! For those of you that read my blog, I thank you and I love you.

For those friends of mine, that are Internet friends, you too, represent something very real and special to me. You're my far away 'out there' friends. It is a wonderful feeling to get up in the morning, after a late night blog post and read your comments. To know you took the time out of your day to give me a boost, a kind word, a kick in the or whatever it is you've done. I thank you too. Never for a minute under estimate the value of your typewritten word. I thank you too, and count myself blessed with your support and friendship in my life.

I love you!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Life is a Whirlwind

I don't know how my life can get so out of control sometimes. I know I have lots going on at times and then there are times I'm in such a lull that nothing happening.

I've bounced back from the loss of 'our' house. I had been secretly hoping the financing and stuff would fall through for the other couple. I don't like being selfish, but I was really seriously hoping something would go awry for the perspective buyers. No such luck! We found out today, it is a firm done deal. Well, congratulations to them! :) In all seriousness, it is a stunningly beautiful home, I do hope the buyers find a lifetime of happiness there. The setting is certainly perfect for it.

I've been a bit remiss in keeping my blog updated in regards to my house renovations. My bathroom is not 100% complete yet, but I can understand the reasons for it. I have a tub, shower, sink, linen tower and vanity. I got the new door installed today and the knobs put on the vanity and linen tower. All that remains is the drywall work, the painting of the walls, the door and the trim work. My contractor is trying to find a drywaller that will come in and drywall the bathroom areas that need repair as well as my basement and the headers. It is a small job and drywallers don't want to come out for anything less than a whole house. Small job; coulda fooled me. I thought the job was huge. Shows ya what I know!

I've made a decision about the flooring for my computer room. I went to End of the Roll today to get an estimate - NO THANK YOU! The computer room dimensions aren't huge. They are 6 stairs, a section 3'x4' and then the main computer room 8.5' x 36'. To buy carpet it would have been just shy $600 + $220ish to install it.... somewhere around $800. Holy, I think not. Todd and I went over to Home Depot, which I love by the way, and laminate flooring would cost me $200+ and then I'll do oak stair treads and still come in way under $800. The laminate flooring isn't the best quality, but it's better than the alternative. The best part of this new deal is that Home Depot has no interest, no payments for 1 full year and Todd is going to put the flooring on his credit card and then I'll have a full year to pay it off. I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief. I was very apprehensive about the estimate for this room and I now know why. It is insanely expensive to do carpet and had a gut feeling it would be. Trust the instincts!

Todd and I have been doing some talking about our options now... buy a pre-owned home or build. We are thinking of staying in the city, or outer city limits for now. It would be prudent to do this for the next 5 years and then decide if we want to sell and look to the country for living. Doing this 5 year plan would enable Lily to grow up some more, gain some more independence and make the overall transition for her a lot easier.

The thing Todd and I are pondering is, buy a pre-owned home and sell in 5 years, or build and stay longer... build what we want and make a commitment to stay in it longer than we would if it were a pre-owned. So many decisions and major ones to consider. We went to a friend of Todd's today that just built a home in June. OMG what a home. 1400 sq feet and it seemed as though it were 1800, just from the way they've designed the layout. They used every available sq foot to the maximum. I left their house more confused than when I went in. I love it though. The house is gorgeous, the decorating is amazing and the idea of doing what we want is really tempting. A lot of work and a lot of pressure, but oh so tempting.

I think today has resulted in more questions than answers. Oh, to know what to do. Am I supposed to be having fun yet? I've barely slept in almost a month. I go to bed at night and sleep awesome for about 2-4 hours and then the rest of the night I'm up tossing and turning with my head running in circles. I'm driving myself insane. I've not been to the gym in over 2 weeks. I'm frustrated in that respect, but when I'm laying awake at 3am, the thought of getting out of bed for 5am is more than I can bear. I really wish I could slow myself down and not be such a raving lunatic!

On that note I'm off to do a bit of stitching before bed. I miss the quiet and grounding I get from my stitching. Long winded post tonight, sorry about that!

Happy stitching days to you!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Love with a Capital L - 160 hours

I'm really enjoying this piece again. I made some good progress this last 10 hours. My hope during this next 10 hour block is to start finishing up the little things I've left. I need to finish the edging on the right side and then an 's' on one of the 'Always' and the 'pes' of Hopes. Sometimes I wonder why it is that I move around like I do.

I took this picture today at work, since I was at the 160 hour mark. I'm anal retentive, I know. I stitched at work today for 2-3 hours. I've since finished the 'V and E' and started the 'N and e' of 'Never Fails', but I ran into a bit of a problem. I had run out of 321 sometime last week, or this piece probably would be finished by now. Sorry, back on track. I ran out of 321, went to Michael's and bought another 2 skeins, which I'm hoping is more than enough to finish it up. When I started working with the new skein today it was new skein against old on the border on the right side and the colour difference looked drastic. I've stitched the 2 different skeins side by side elsewhere in the pattern and it doesn't seem as noticeable a difference, but on the edge it looked extreme. I frogged the 10 stitches I had done and moved back to the large LOVE at the bottom. I really under estimated when I was buying floss and I've restocked 3 times now. I'm currently working on my 9th skein and this is the first problem I've encountered with dye lots. I've sent out an S.O.S. to Velda and she has 2 part bobbins that I can have. Hopefully they are a closer match than the ones I'm currently in possession of or I'm in trouble!

I'm not sure how much stitching time I'll be able to find at home this week. I never know what is going to pop up to steal my time, but I'm really hoping to find some. I would really like to see this piece finished soon. As soon, I mean by this weekend. Finishing by the weekend is probably a rather lofty goal. I'd be happy with even finishing by the end of next weekend! I'm working 2-10p Saturday and Sunday 7a-3pm, so that is some pretty good stitching time, I think.

Wish me luck and I hope to see you at the finish line soon! Then to save a couple hundred dollars to get it professionally framed. I have the money in my savings account, but the dilemma is pay for the bathroom renovations or framing... hmmmmm! I'm just kidding, the framing will have to wait a bit.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Is It Over Yet?

I've learned a lot about myself this week. I'm not sure if the things I've learned are good or bad, but I've learned nonetheless.

I miss my house. I miss the quiet tranquility I find when I'm there. I miss the clean. I miss being able to bath or shower without a leak. I miss my body lotion. I don't have a clue where my contact lens crap is and I've been wearing my contacts for days! My bad!!

I don't deal well with things when the don't flow smoothly. I don't always freak out, but I do like a smooth flow to my life. Right now I have none and it is bring out my 'turtling' ways. I just want to block it all out and make things work the way I think they should. I'm s

I tried to bath again last night and couldn't since the tub is still leaking. I'm now to the point where I want to cry or scream. Maybe a screaming cry would work best. I'm at my wits end. I thought my tub was fixed last night. Why would I think otherwise, I was told all was working properly. Ya right!!!! Fill the tub a bit and you'll know it's not fixed! GRRRRR I get in the tub only to hear the water falling in the laundry room again! I couldn't believe it. Why am I surprised? Oh, I don't know because I was told it was fixed! So, I'm armed once again with the shop vac cleaning up for the 2nd night in a row. Ya know, you feel all clean and then you're walking around cleaning up a mess, it does nothing but make you feel dirty all over again. Frustration level is off the meter.

I went to bed pretty early last night. I was emotionally burned out. I just want things finished, and without much more in the way of setbacks. I know renovations can be trying, but these seem like simple things to me. I say simple, I couldn't do a portion of these jobs, but I'm not doing them, so of course they seem simple to me.

Anyway, I apologize for the negative tone of this post. I don't like getting in these moods and I usually refrain from posting when I feel like this, but today I just need to get this out of my head before I go insane.

Let's hope that today will bring some good news and I can start to feel as though positive progress in being made in the saga of my bathroom renovations.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Bathroom Renovations Day 3

A couple shots at the end of day 3.
This would be the shower walls pre-caulking. I'm able to have a bath now, but not a shower.

Here is the new sink and faucet.

I don't think Scott had a successful day today. Poor guy.

I had a bath last night with the protective plastic still on the tub. I thought it would be weird and I would feel it but I couldn't. I had to wash my hair in the tub. OMG what a moment that was.... I'm deathly afraid of hair and wet hair.... OMG I'd rather you just shoot me.

I was lounging in my great big soaker tub when I can hear a noise like gushing water. Now, let me rephrase that, not LIKE gushing water, but actually gushing water, waterfall like. My new tub was leaking into the laundry room. I quickly jump out of the tub, drain it and while it's draining run downstairs to investigate. Lo and behold there is water free falling from the ceiling. Out comes the shop vac, away goes the lake now resting in my laundry room. Scott forgot to tighten the drain. No biggie. It's fixed now.

I get up for work this morning knowing I still have no light fixture nor a mirror to get ready by. I'm sitting in the hallway in my pajamas and housecoat with a tea, straightening my hair by using the old mirror leaned up against the wall. What a sight. Thank goodness Lily didn't have to get ready to go anywhere like this. She was the smart one and booked it to her sister's last night.

I get home from work today to see the panelling up around the shower. The vanity and linen tower secured, as well as the sink installed. Scott had to make a couple trips to Home Depot today to get some extra tubs of glue and caulking because I didn't buy enough. Uh oh. When Scott's showing me the faucet for the sink, it starts to leak. When he was at Home Depot he bought additional piping and re piped the entire sink only to find it wasn't his plumbing skills causing the issues, but the faucet set is faulty. What major waste of him on his part and in turn mine too.

I just got finished telling Todd, I don't think I would ever make it as your typical rich upper class citizen. I don't like paying people to do things for me. Not the paying part so much, although that is going to hurt big time. I have no idea what this is going to cost me and I'm a little bit, okay, a lot nervous. The fact that I've hired someone to do a job for me is extremely strange and not something I'm used to at all.

I'll be back with further updates as the saga develops.

Vicki ~ too funny how two people can see the exact same thing and come away feeling completely opposite in their views. I've paid for renovations before, my ex-husband always did things so I figured a professional would be so much faster. I will say, in his defence because I feel as though I'm slamming him, he is good and very much a perfectionist.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

End of Day 2 of Bathroom Renovations

This would be a partial shot of the linen tower and the vanity.

A shot of the toilet and tub. The tub and toilet are white as much as they look beige against the very white of the vanity.

Another shot of vanity and linen tower from a different angle.

My shower still doesn't have walls, but I need to bath. I haven't bathed or showered all day today and I feel like a grunge monkey, to say the least. I'm going to have to bath in my new tub with the plastic protective cover still on it. Scott asked me to keep it on so that when he's installing the barker tile tomorrow the tub is still somewhat protected. Oh, how I'm looking forward to this bath. NOT!!

I have to work tomorrow so Scott is going to have to come her while I'm gone to work. Had I realized he wouldn't be finished today, I would have had Princess stay home this evening. I'm not concerned with Scott being around when I'm not here, but it will definitely upset the poor dog. Poor baby girl.

Here's to hoping that tomorrow sees the end of the bathroom renovations. I know this bathroom has been a big job, but I wonder is he slow or am I impatient. I know he's a perfectionist which I appreciate, but this has been a process to say the least. Maybe it just seems like a long time since I've barely left the house in 2 full days and I'm exhausted.

He Is Lucky He's Cute

I'm sitting out in the computer room composing my previous post. I look in at my stitching and what do I see? This little critter curled up on my stitching. I grab my camera to get a pic, move very slowly to get a shot of him and hope he doesn't dart off.

Oh, don't worry about him darting off. He was so not in the mood to care about me taking pics. He looked up once, let me get the shot then snuggled back in. Devil cat!

This cat is so funny about my stitching. He is really very skittish and hesitant to human touch. You can't pick him up, he absolutely hates it. His entire body will freeze, with a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face. He has only been in our home since mid-July, a graduation gift for Lily and we are still learning about him. He is a rescue from a local Humane Society, so I know nothing of his history or what it is he's experienced that makes him so nervous. Maybe it's better I don't know. Just love him now that he is mine and Lil's.

Whenever I get my stitching out, no matter where he is, he comes to be with me. He usually curls up on my lap. You can imagine how difficult it is to stitch with a hulk of a cat on your lap. I think maybe his former family may have crafted or something. Another thought brought to my attention is that when I stitch I'm completely relaxed (I'm very hyper by times) and he may sense the calm vibes and wants to cuddle in. I don't know, but he is darn lucky he's so cute.

Back to my stitching after I very gently move kitty from his place of honour.

This Is A Tough One

Well, Cute Boy and I didn't get the house. My heart is a wee bit broken, but there is nothing to be gained by being sad. I will do my best to compose this entry and not cry. I've only cried once today, just a few little tears. All the wonderfully supportive e-mails I received from friends, it was the one that read: When God closes a door, He opens a window, that made me cry. I don't know why those words specifically, but they really struck a chord.

I had good and bad vibes about the offer going in last night. As I said in a previous post, there was another couple interested in the house. Go figure! The house sits on the market for months, the listing expires and then there are 2 couples wanting it. Us and someone else. They offered quite a bit more money than we did, and less conditions. I thought the offer amount we submitted was a good offer, and with countering back and forth there was room for movement from both sides. Todd doesn't have the particulars about the other offer, but they must have been pretty close to asking price. They also didn't have as many conditions as our offer. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I didn't tell Princess there was an offer going in last night. There was no need for her to be thinking about this, and worrying about it unnecessarily, especially the night before her first ever high school exam. When Cute Boy called today with the news that our offer wasn't accepted, I told Princess we didn't get the house. She told me she was sorry.

I talked to her later in the afternoon, when there was little chance I would cry. I'm such a baby! I asked her if she was happy now that we didn't get the house. It may sound as though I asked her with tone, but I didn't it was just a simple question. Her answer was honest, and I respect that more than I can tell you. She said, 'Yes, I'm happy now'. I told her that I pretty much figured she would be happy. She said she's sorry we didn't get the house because Cute Boy and I both wanted it, and that she's sorry for being honest and saying she's happy about something that may sadden both Cute Boy and I. I respect and appreciate her honesty. I would be more upset if she'd said 'No', because I would know she was lying.

This is where I am mentally. A little sad and a lot disappointed! I'm been burrowing in to my rec room today with Job's Tears and stitching away my afternoon while the bathroom renovations carry on around me!

For each and every comment that I've received during the process of looking at this house, fixing mine, dealing with my Princess, I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I am more blessed than a girl deserves. Every single one of you rock!

Happy stitching days to you!

The Winds of Change are Blowing Again

Love With A Capital L - still a focus piece, but waiting a bit to work on another of the focus pieces

Hydrangea Harvest - scrapping this as an idea for a friend. I don't know that the gift will be well received, so I'm putting it away for a bit. May or may not finish it for myself.

Job's Tears - my main focus piece for a friend. I may need to give this gift much sooner than initially anticipated.

Summer Breeze - want this to hang above my front door. If I sell this house, this piece will go on a back burner, further back than it already sits.

Wildflower Rhapsody

Enchanted Fairy

Halloween Fairy

Treetop Sampler

My Stocking

Giggles Girl

Middy - never see the person this is being stitched for, why bother?

Angel Proclamation

Be Warm Be Welcome


The Bride - never see the person this is being stitched for, why bother?

So, as always, things are changing around here. I love the quiet contemplation that will sometimes accompany my stitching. I know, when I stitch something for someone I want it to be well received and in a few of the pieces, I don't see the person enough to feel it is worth my time and effort. The same applies with a whether a gift is truly appreciated or not.

For today, this is where I am in regards to what I want to accomplish and in what order. How many times am I going to tinker with my list? Oh, probably at least another dozen times before this year is out. Flighty little thing, I am!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Job's Tears 70 hours

Look at this! An update on a day, when things all around me was in shambles. I don't like the idea of paying for renovations, but the freedom of not having to do them myself shows some promise.

I've been able to get quite a bit done in the last couple days. I didn't realize I was so close to a 10 hour block. 10 hour blocks are fun for me, I love sharing my WIP with ya'll. I thought I had some mistakes in the sewing machine, but I was able to figure out what was going on without too much trouble.

I'm really loving how this piece is coming to life. I might be able to find some time to stitch tomorrow. I would like to be able to stitch some tomorrow and then again at work on Saturday, so I can stitch on Halloween Fairy on Sunday.

Thanks, as always for looking.

Happy stitching days to you!

Bathroom Reno Progress

This would be the oh-so-lovely bathroom I've used now for way too long. It has been over 2.5 years since I've owned everything needed to renovate my bathroom. Today is a very big day in my house. We are in the process of getting a new bathroom! I couldn't be happier. I won't even begin to tell you how psyched Lily is about this upgrade! Do you know how hard it is to feel clean after showering in a bathroom this dilapidated? It is downright disgusting!!

Isn't that just a lovely sight?? Yucky!!!!

This, as you can see, is under the vanity. There have been no doors on there for about 1.5 years. The threading on the piping has been leaking for quite some time, hence the black mold... what a special treat. What you don't see under there is that all our princess products were being stored in laundry baskets on either side of the pipe. I'm not going to miss that!

Another lovely shot. Just oozing with sarcasm, I am.

We're making progress. I have to keep in mind you must make a mess to make progress. I don't do mess well.

This would be the flooring under the vanity. The water stain you see there is the water from the leaky drain piping. Not good at all. The plywood will be replaced to help secure the floor and to give a smoother surface to adhere the new floor.

This would be the finish point of Day #1. You may notice the toilet seat doesn't fit properly. I need to get another one! I finally have a toilet again after not having one pretty much all day. Never take for granted indoor plumbing. Velda, you have no idea how much I appreciate the loan of your loo a couple times today. Thank goodness you live close. You're a trooper!

It was an interesting day. Scott was here from about 9:30a, started working about 10:30 and left somewhere around 9pm tonight. He took about an hour for his lunch and dinner and maybe another hour to run to Home Depot for supplies.

I sat in the rec starting around 7p and stitched the night away while a little corner of my world was being transformed. There is something sweet about that. I was finally able to have a tea after Scott left, secure in the knowledge I could relieve myself if the need should arise. There is something sweet in that too.

I'll be back tomorrow with further updates.

Purging of Cross Stitch Patterns

Since I'm trying to streamline and purge stuff in preparation of an eventual move, I'm going through my stitching stash to get rid of patterns. I thought I would stitch most things, but I haven't so there isn't much point in hanging on to this stuff any longer.

I have available ~

  • Spirit of Christmas - Package is open and pattern used. I've stitched this piece
  • Nantucket Rose - L&L # 20 - opened never stitched - spoken for, but checking stash to be certain it is needed.
  • Numerous Just Cross Stitch Magazines - if you're looking for something specific let me know and I'll see if I have the issue you're wanting. There is an exclusive Shepherd's Bush design - Far Away that is in the pile.
  • The Prairie Schooler Santa 2003
  • Lizzie Kate - Best Friends
  • Sheperd's Bush - Devon Hedge 1989
  • BH&G Cross Stitch and Country Craft July/Aug 1992 - Sugar and Spice stocking on the cover
  • Elizabeth's Designs - Joyous Noel
  • Elizabeth's Designs - Christmas Joy
  • Lanarte Kit - Maria van Scharrenburg # 28346
  • Just Nan - Autumn Haze with bead pack
  • Lizzie Kate - Love #F46 with charm
  • Lizzie Kate - Buzz on Inn

As I continue to sort through things I will be updating the list, so check back. If' you're interested in anything leave a comment and I'll get the particulars and have your pattern off in the mail by the end of the week (hopefully)

Monday, January 21, 2008

40 Tips For Powerful You

40 Tips for a Powerful New Year

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to ___________ today."

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.

6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, qigong and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed-out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Forgive everyone everything.

28. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.

32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

34. The best is yet to come.

35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36. Do the right thing!

37. Call your mother and father often.

38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________." Today I accomplished _________.

39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

Growly Surrounds Me

I try not to bring my rants here, but today I'm about tired of it all. Okay, I'm not 'about' tired of it..... I AM extremely tired of it.

I'm not the world's most cheerful person, really, I'm not. I do try though not to take my moods out on those around me. I'm stuck at work right now with grumpiness. Why? Oh, I have no idea and I don't care. I'm getting so fed up with the overall grumpiness. Not a morning person? Then ask to work afternoons. Not an afternoon person? Then ask to work nights. Oh, dear, if you're asked to work a night shift! I'm telling you it is downright draining to be around grumpiness and overall bad attitude on a day to day basis. Don't like your lot in life? You're the only one that can change it! Why is it that others must suffer because of a mood?

I've only been here for an hour and half and I'm now drained from this situation. I love what I do for the most part, although I'm not a big fan of the hours. If you don't like your job - get out and leave those that like peace with it!

My rant is over now! No need to reply to this post. Really there isn't . This being "MY" place, I just needed to get this out of my head in an effort to fight off a mini meltdown.

Phew, I think I feel a little better now!

BOO! Said the headless girl

Still plugging away on this little gem. I'm at 20 hours and figure it will take me another 20 hours, so I'm about half way through. I really love this piece and still don't know how I let it sit so long in the discarded, but hopeful pile. How and why do I do that?

I made some good progress on Job's Tears yesterday. I finished the sewing machine. Oh my goodness, is it gorgeous. I've about another 4 hours before I'll do another update photo. I'm hoping to find the time this week. It is unlikely I will, but the intention is there and that is the important part.

I read on Bliss' blog yesterday about her giving a gift of stitching and it not being well received. I've had it happen to me, not to this extreme, but a gift not be appreciated. I've also had it go the other way too, to the point of embarrassment because the people were so touched. I talked with Pam about one of the gift I'm stitching for a girl at work for her retirement this December and we came to the conclusion that I should scrap the idea. I'm not upset about it, I think I feel relief to not have another project deadline hanging over my head. I also wonder if the sense of relief doesn't come from knowing in my heart of hearts it might not be completely appreciated. The woman is a sweetheart, but just may not have the appreciation of what is involved, as much as she is able to see the time invested since I do a lot of stitching while at work.

The SAT is over on the Cross Stitch Board. I will be back later tonight with an after picture of Love. I had to work on other pieces for the SAT because I ran out of floss for Love and have yet to hit Michael's to pick up more. I would have made incredible progress if not for that! Darn it!!!!

I really need to run since I should be getting ready for work.

Happy Stitching Days to you.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Rotation Changes Coming

I know! I know! I know. It's all been heard before. This time I'm changing things up a bit out of a possible life change for the person I'm stitching it for, not because of my whimsical ways with needle.

I'm stitching Job's Tears for a friend. Her life is taking a turn and where the turn may lead is questionable, so I've decided to focus on Job's Tears until it is finished. I may not need this piece finished as quickly as I think I might, and I certainly hope not, but I'm going to put forth my best effort to get it done sooner rather than later.

Job's Tears was going to be my next focus piece anyway, so I've only really changed things around by about 40-50 hours. I think that is about how much I have left to do on Love.

Without further adieu, Job as of my last update 60 hours. Now I do have quite a bit more done, but done have the time today to get another picture taken. Maybe tomorrow at work before I start working on it I'll be able to snap a quick picture.

Happy stitching to you all.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Holy Dinah House

My real estate friend just left. I'm overwhelmed and very much in a good way overwhelmed. He said my house isn't near as bad as I thought it was, but he can understand my thinking so, especially with my perfectionist tendencies. That is only a little bit funny.

I will do my best to summarize the visit and the things I need to do.

  • Caulk the trim to the wall. There are spaces, and caulking it and painting it will present a more finished look.
  • Get the transitions for the rooms, which I already have, get them sanded and varnished to a nice glossy shine
  • Replace the doors if I really want to - I really want to. Velda????? LOL
  • Paint the kitchen - being done this evening
  • Trim out Lily's room and the spare room.... having that looked at this evening
  • Buy carpet to go down the stairs towards the computer room and get an estimate to see what it will cost to have carpet laid to the rec room
  • Prime and paint the computer room and the doors in the computer room going to the laundry room and the garage.
  • Get bi-fold doors for under the stairs.
  • Install quarter round for the kitchen area to give it a good finished look.

I think that's it for now

Scott (renovation guy) is coming on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week to start my bathroom. I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm looking forward to this renovation. Scott is also going to do the headers in the two bedrooms and install the new closet doors. There will be before and after pics - happy V?

Andy (real estate friend) wants me to have Scott look at doing some of the other things around the house and when he's here on Tuesday to start the bathroom, I'll present him with a list of the things Andy says needs to be done. Scott is a perfectionist as well, but Andy said to just get it done, do it with quality in mind, but pretty is the key.

I'm soooo excited and not even a little bit overwhelmed right now. I know I said I was overwhelmed when I started the post. I'm not stressed. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me, but for the first time in a long time, I feel I have some direction about where I'm going and how I'm going to get there!

Andy and I were talking about various things, of course, and he says to try and shoot for getting this work done by mid-February and get my house on the market around that time and I should have no problem selling it and getting good money for it! OMG is this really happening?

The Wonders of Sleep - Long Winded Life Chatter

Does life's outlook ever change when you get a good night's sleep. I'm up and ready to face the world today with a full 8 hours sleep, minus 15 minutes. Minus 15 minutes, you ask? Settle in I'll tell you a little funny about this handsome man! I'm sleeping like a dream, I can't remember what time it was exactly, but I'm sleeping away and little man decides he wants to say hello. You see, I usually lock Tip (that's his name) up in the basement at night, because he is a cat that will meow 24/7 regardless of his food dish level, water, cuddles, whatever. He also has a wake up time from his previous owners of about 5am... no thank you! So, a little history there about handsome man. Last night I'm getting ready for bed and Tip is in my bed snuggled in to the chenille throw I have haphazardly laying on my bed - ya right it's staged. Tip's all cuddled in, one of his favorite spots to sleep and I didn't have the heart, probably the energy, to move him. I made sure I slept with the bedroom door open so he could access his box and off to bed I went. He doesn't really move too much in the night, so I was confident he wouldn't wake me. Who was I kidding, he wouldn't wake me? As I said I'm sleeping away only be woken by this strange feeling on my eyes. At whatever time Tip decided he wanted to start the day, he came up stood in front of my face and oh so gently rubbed his darling soft paws over my eyelids. I turned over to hide my face on one side and about 15 minutes later found my face on the other side of the bed and did it again. I felt like I was in some sort of strange horror movie where the slasher character has an obsession with eyes or something. If I wasn't laughing and truly wanting to do bodily harm to Mr. Kitty I would have been major creeped out. He does this paw touching thing every time I'm at the computer, actually he's doing it right now as I type this, but I'm telling you, it is some kind of different in the dark dead of night and on my eyes!

Lesson learned - A male of any species in your bed at night is going to lose you some sleep and depending on the specific male, might just scar you for life and creep you out in the process!

Now, on to more day to day of my life. Alyssa was over last night... my goodness what a child. I don't even know where to begin with her anymore. Her and Mike are moving out of their own place and back to his mother's.... funny how she didn't ask to move home. Too many rules from good old mom. I don't even know what to do. I just keep listening even though the message and words are not what I want to hear. She thinks in her infinite wisdom of 17 she's got it all figured out. She still reaps the benefits of my life and doesn't follow a single rule. I sometimes want to cut the string and draw the hard line, 'you want to not follow the rules and venture out on your own, then stop coming to me for most everything'. She just doesn't seem to get it. Have I failed her as a parent? I think so. She has these ideas of grandeur and dreams (dreams are good), but doesn't see the challenges she's put in front of her that she may never be able to overcome. Children, and yes she's a child, should be living at home, going to school, working part time jobs to save money, buy clothing, go to movies (I know times have changed). Girls of 16 shouldn't be wanting to have sleepovers with boyfriends, and hang out all hours of the night and then when things don't work out, hit the highway! It just breaks my heart. This situation between had outside manipulative forces, I know this and she now sees it, but it will never be the same. A child that leaves home at 16 - really why? I know there are success stories out there, but what if her story isn't a successful one?

Stitching updates:
Not as much progress on Love as I would have liked last night. Work was weird, so stitching time was a little wonky. I had a wee visit from the frog, which I knew was coming. I miscounted when I went from one sheet to another. Don't worry ladies I won't send him your way. I made short work of him, I stomped him down and out!

Dani - I'm only working 5 hours per piece once around just because the pieces have been dormant, some for more than a year. I will then choose another of my pieces, probably Job's Tears and work on it as I am with Love until it's finished. I'm hoping this 5 hour thing might help in regards to whether I really want to do certain pieces. I've never scrapped a piece before, but I'm a little fearful it might happen. Sad, but true.

I'm off now to the myriad of jobs that call my name. I'll be back with an update this afternoon after the real estate guy has been here. I'm hoping I'm on the right track with what I'm focusing my time and money on!

You girls rock! Love ya bunches!!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Stitching Chatter

It's been a while since I've actually talked about my stitching, and since that is the purpose of this blog, I figured now is as good a time as any! Imagine 4am and I'm posting about my stitching and I'm not even at work doing a midnight! UGGGGH. Insomnia much?

I've been diligently working away on Love with A Capital L. I've put about 4 hours into it already this week and a total of 462 stitches. Not an amazing number, but for stitching only a bit each night at work, I'm happy with the totals. I can feel the end is near. I'm happy, extremely happy and a little bit sad too. No pun intended, but I love this piece and will be sad to no longer have it to work on. Isn't that just the strangest rationale?

Since the end is nearing on Love, I've been giving some thought to what I'm going to do next. Of course I am. I wouldn't be me I wasn't always thinking of ways to tweak my rotation. Velda, I can hear you snickering from here and you can stop right now! Do YOU hear me???

When I look back over all my projects, there are some that only have the initial 5 hours worked on them and some weren't even touched, not even one time, in all of last year. So, what I'm thinking is this. After I finish Love, what if I work on each piece through my rotation for 5 hours, posting a before and after picture after each 5 hour block per piece. That should take me about 2 months or so. When I've done this once through, I will continue on with my focus piece and UFO piece for Sunday. By then I should have come up with some other idea! LOL

Don't hesitate to chime in with ideas. I'm always open for suggestions! Suggestions, Velda, not comments from the peanut gallery :)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Happy Dancing For A Mitre Saw

I have a mitre saw! I have a mitre saw! My friend brought her husband's mitre saw to work for me today! I'm dancing in the streets! I really am. I went to Debbie's car to get the saw from her trunk to put it in mine and when I saw it, I squealed!

I have to figure out what wood products I need to buy now - ouch says my Visa. I'm heading to Rona or Home Depot in the next day or two to get my supplies. I can't even tell you how excited I am about having this mitre saw. It takes a mighty big man to part with his electrical tools, but Karl being such a great guy, and not just because he has loaned me his mitre saw, he came through big time.

In case you didn't catch my excitement in the opening paragraph with all my exclamation points, I have a mitre saw. I'm as happy as a cat with a big ol' bowl of milk.

Good things cometh

I don't know how it happened or when it happened. I'm just extremely grateful it did. A little background - Lily is home from school sick today. I told her last night I would be home this morning because I had things to do, but I would be as quiet as possible for her to still sleep while I puttered away.

She got up about an hour ago and we've done nothing but talk and chatter the whole time. She got up and right away noticed that all the trim has been painted. Now the walls still need to be done, so the difference is startling. She said the house will soon enough start too look better, if I just keep at it. And then, "Is there anything, I can do?" I just about shit! I thanked her for her offer, but it was about the time for me to start getting ready for work - darn it.

She then started talking to me about things. She said it's sad to be finally getting the house finished and fixed up only to be possibly selling it. I have to agree with her. She then told me she is going to miss this house (the only home she remembers). I agree with her. Then the tears started, tears from both of us. I tried to reassure her and ask her not to get too concerned because as of right now, there are so many things with the 'new' house that Todd and I aren't even sure it's going to work out for us. She cried extremely hard at times, but continued talking. I gave my darling baby a hug and kiss and left her to her tears and sadness for a bit.

After the initial onslaught of tears, she was ready to talk again and this time the topic path was much different than I could have ever dreamed. I told her Todd, his brother in law, sister and myself were going to see the house on Sunday. Todd's BIL used to sell real estate, so we want him to look at the house with a discriminative eye. I threw out the offer to Lily that she could come along and she said she just might.

The conversation carried on in bits and pieces, with things like I want to see it now -as in NOW. I want to paint MY NEW room light blue with silver accents.... can I get a new bed for my new room? She then asks me what is my favorite thing about the house? My answer 2 bathrooms, which brought great bouts of laughter from her.... we fight over our little itty bitty, badly in need of renovations of a bathroom.

I want to thank each and everyone of you that has posted comments urging me to stay positive and do what I need to do. I hoped Lily would come around eventually, but didn't expect it to happen as fast as all this. I know we will still be faced with numerous trials, be it this house we buy or another one, but for now there is a peaceful calm once again within the walls of my home.

I learn so much everyday. This morning I was exhausted and overwhelmed and feeling more than a bit defeated. This afternoon I feel like a million bucks and as I'm going to be able to win in this situation! Lesson learned - never give up hope. Keep reaching for what you're wanting. Who knows what you might get in the end.
In answer to a few questions posted in the comment section -
Great approach idea from Pumpkin -
I am going to tackle the house room by room. I'm going to have Dave look and see if he can do trim and if he can, I'm going to have him trim out Lily's room - the walls, window and door. I will then paint the trim. I will also see if he can build closet door headers and hang the bedroom door, which will then need painting. If he can do these things for me, Lily's room will be finished.

Going Crazy Rant

I'm sitting here with my tea, my wonderfully warm chai tea. I'm convincing myself this is my morning routine when I'm home and it'll be okay if I take a few minutes before immersing myself in with paint brush and paint. I'm exhausted! I'm sleeping like crap. I'm major guilt tripping. I've flaked on KP (so unfair) at the gym yesterday and today. I lay in bed awake for most of the night and I can not drag my sorry excuse for a butt out of bed at 4:50a. Then a day without the gym frustrates me. I'll never hit the weight loss I want if I don't hit the gym. Seems logical, does it not? If I could get points for the running in my head, that would be something, right?

I've often said I love a challenge, but I love one challenge at a time as opposed to challenges everywhere I look all day long. I want to get as much done to the house as I can. There is one challenge - so far you can score one for the house because it is winning right now. I have the challenge of weight loss, score one for the fat because it's winning right now too! I'm not in so much of a defeated mood as it may seem, I'm more or less just taking stock of the crappy start to my week.

I do have a funny to share with you. In this you'll notice my sarcastic humour. It may sound as though I'm being ungrateful, but I'm really not. I got an e-mail from one of my best friends, Velda where we were discussing my lack of focus and the desire get things done around the house. She tells me, as only she would, the blog junkie, that renovation before and after photos make great blog fodder! Oh, this I know! She tells me the oooohhhh and aaaawwwing I get will be inspiring and push me to get more done. This too, I know. My very sarcastic reply to her (and she gets my sarcastic, and not critical of others humour) was you need to have progress to get AFTER shots..... I think it might have been a 'had to be there moment', but it is very true.

My frustration is that some are telling me they'll help me. I'm such the person, you tell me I expect it that is the way I am. I will not go around begging and bothering you to help me. I will not do it. I will get frustrated and annoyed, but I will not harass you. If I had a dollar for the number of times I've been told I'll help you and then it not happen I'd have all my debt paid off! Velda, I'm not talking about or in any way referring to Sunday and the door. I fear you're thinking I am - honest honey!

Oh, I have a line on a mitre saw! Yaaaa!!!! A co-worker (friend of 16 years) called her husband last night when we were working together to ask it he has one. He does and SHE says I can borrow it. I don't think she quite grasps the concept of a man's attachment to his tools. She is too cute and has no idea what she has just offered to lend me. She thinks she's going to be bringing this in to work for me.... I think not. This saw will probably weight 20+lbs. I was almost crying when I was laughing at her! I love you, Debbie. You are always good for a laugh.

So, that is the most recent installment of the house renovations saga.

Dani, if you've made it this far - yes I can see a funk coming on! I'm fighting it, but I can feel it creeping in and around!

Stitching progress has been good my one night of work so far. I put 193 stitches into Love and I'm almost finished the corner piece and a portion of the one line of script. I see no problem in accomplishing my SAT goals. Something is going right!!! WOOHOO

Monday, January 14, 2008

Housing and Finacing Fun!

We had the appointment and things are - JUST! I'm not really sure where we are or where we're heading at this point. The numbers look good. That in itself doesn't surprise me. There is, as always, issues with the house. You may recall the house is no longer on the market, but people are still looking at it and another couple is interested. Of course someone else is interested!!!!!! GRRRRRR The owner is apparently going to re list it again in the spring for $10,000 more than the listing price it just finished at last week. Is it just me, but doesn't that just seem strange??? I'm thinking that he's banking on the fact that the house has waterfront view.

I have my real estate agent coming to the house on Thursday of this week to have a look and tell me what NEEDS to be done, to get as much as I can for my house. I can pretty much tell you what needs to be done and if I do only what needs to be done it will drive me a little bit insane. For those of you that don't know me well and are just new to my blog, I have a little confession. I'm a perfectionist. Most times I like this element of my personality that makes a small part of who I am. Right now, I'm not so sure.

I have a friend (co-worker) and her husband coming over to the house on Wednesday night to have a look around to see what they can do to help me get things done. She tells me she is really good with a paint brush and he is a jack-of-all-trades. I'm so out of my element right now it's not even funny. I love the challenge and the list maker in me is having fun scratching things off my list.... but the scratching right now is a little far and few in between.

What I really need to get is a mitre saw! I lost it in the divorce damn it! Having one would really help in getting some of the wood work done.

Stitch-A-Thon Starting Point

The Cross Stitch Crazy Board is hosting a week long stitch-a-thon (SAT). I love SAT's. They are very motivational and done with the best of intentions. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to contribute this week. I'm working 2-10p this week which will enable me to stitch at work from about 6:30-8:30p. It could be worse!

I'm thinking of focusing on Love with a Capital L for this month's SAT -This is how it looks as of today. I will update this coming Monday, with a new progress pic. I'm hoping to have the next 2 lines complete as well as the swirly design on the right. Anything else will be a bonus.
I just got thinking I work this weekend, so I should be able to get a lot more than that completed. I was thinking just the my 2-10 shifts, but forgot I have to work this weekend. What a great way to take a negative and turn it into a positive! Yaaaaa

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Still Plugging Away

I was off work this weekend. I'm doing a full time stint for another girl. I work part time and work most weekends, but right now I'm covering a full timer and when a full timer goes off for an extended time, I work her shifts. The money is awesome and right now I need the money, what with all the things going on around the house lately.

I had a relaxing weekend as well as a semi productive weekend. I got more stuff trashed and sorted for The Goodwill. I have another bag and a box of books to be donated. I'm on a limited garbage disposal, 2 bags per week, so getting rid of the garbage is going to take me a bit longer. I know eventually I'm going to have to do a major run to the dump, but I want to donate or sell as much as I can before I just start trashing things.

Todd and I have a major appointment tomorrow. I'm a bit apprehensive about the visit, but more excited than anything. I'm not sure what is to come of it, but we'll see. When I know something and I've processed it to make sense in my own head, I'll let you know what's up. Say a little prayer for us!

I went shopping today at Home Depot. How I love shopping at HD! What I wouldn't give to win a shopping spree there. Oh, the dreams of little girls. I bought the plug covers, switches and power receptacles for the changing of my electric outlets and stuff. Not sure when it's going to be getting done exactly, but me being me I want to be prepared and be as little an inconvenience as possible.

An update of sorts with Lil. She is a little better as of late. She's not excited, don't get me wrong. She's not as chilly nor is she as hostile. I guess the best description to fit the mood right now is indifference. I think indifference might be it. It's an improvement and that is I can ask for at the moment.

Off to my Love With A Capital L. I'm missing my stitching as of late so I'm trying to put an hour into it before I start to resent all the house stuff and then burn out in the process.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Derailed - James Siegel

Advertising director Charles Schine is just another New York commuter, regularly catching the 8.43 to work. But the day he misses his train is the day that changes his life. Catching the 9.05 instead, he can't help but be drawn by the sight of the person opposite. Charles has never cheated on his wife in eighteen years of marriage. But then Charles has never met anyone like Lucinda Harris before. Charming, beautiful and a seductively good listener, Charles finds himself instantly attracted. And though Lucinda is married too, it is immediately apparent that the feeling is mutual. Their journeys into work become lunch dates, which become cocktails and eventually lead to a rented room in a seedy hotel. They both know the risks they are taking, but not in their worst nightmares could they foresee what is to follow. Suddenly their temptation turns horrifically sour, and their illicit liaison becomes caught up in something bigger, more dangerous, more brutally violent. Unable to talk to his partner or the police, Charles finds himself trapped in a world of dark conspiracy and psychological games. Somehow he's got to find a way to fight back, or his entire life will be spectacularly derailed for good.

Book #2 - WOW! What an incredible book. I've wanted to read this book for so long and finally got around to it. What a dork I am for waiting so long. I was hooked and didn't want to put it down. When I should have been sound asleep I was still turning the pages. Can't wait to watch the movie, something I'd been delaying until I'd read the book.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

How's The Head?

Well, I started on the purging of the stuff! If you can believe it, I'm still alive to blog about it too. I'm as surprised about that as anyone.

I started cleaning stuff out from under the stairs. The fun got under way after I got home from taking Lily to work. I thought it would be less traumatizing if I did it while she was gone. Well, she's home now and the attitude is front and center again, so I ask myself, what was the point?

My goodness, some of the stuff under those stairs is enough frighten small children. Krista came over to help me with the lugging of boxes. Sweet girl she is, frightened of spiders and all. To my amazement, I didn't see a single critter. The space isn't as restrictive as a crawl space, but you do have to be careful of whacking your head or jabbing your head with a stair nail. Well, whacking the head happened 3x between Krista and I. I smacked myself twice and Krista only once. I say only, as though it wasn't all that bad. The sounding thunk of her head hitting that beam I can still hear it. I'm sure she can still feel it. Sorry, KP, but that was too funny. You know when something hurts, and hurts bad, but you're standing there laughing although what you're feeling is anything but funny. Well, this was definitely one of those moments. I'm still laughing, again sorry, KP, but I can barely type this from laughing so hard - still! KP, how's the head? See, blog title in honour of you! Aren't ya proud? You're famous!

All the boxes are now scattered around the basement computer room and rec room. I've gone through most of them. The girls still have to go through their special boxes and I have a couple that I will have to go through as well. There are so many memories in those boxes. It fills me with joy, peace and a bit of heartache to see in these boxes, my children in my mind's eye through their little doll babies and clothes. It's like a short walk down memory lane with every toy or dress. I can't remember all the toys, but the clothes I can pretty much remember the reason I wanted to keep each dress or outfit. Where did the time go, from those little bundles of joy to the critters I'm surrounded with today? One is upstairs, I'm sure feeling as though her life is about to end. I know differently, but from the perspective of a 14 y.o. girl, life is over as she knows it.

So far I have 4 empty plastic bins and I've created 2 bags of garbage and 4 bags to go to The Goodwill. All in all good night's work with not a lot of time to be had in getting it done.

Still lots to do, but I'm feeling accomplished today. I was up before 5am this morning. I hit the gym, worked all day, did some shopping with Lil, took her to work and have picked her up, got this sorting started, had Starbucks with Krista and some laughs, cruised in her new car - cool wheels. I'm now heading to bed to get my butt rested to do it all over again tomorrow.

I feel like a drama queen about this whole Lily moving thing, I really do. I'm so finished with living in a stressful situation and I hate distention. I'm out of a marriage that was full of it, and to be dealing with some of the same feelings from her is more than I feel I have the strength to give. Please keep us (me) in your thoughts as this transition period looms closer and closer, now that this moving ball is starting to roll.

What would I do without this forum and the most amazing women, some I've the honour of knowing and some I don't know to help me through these situations? You have no idea how much I appreciate your support, even that from 'strangers', and I use the label strangers loosely, very loosely! Thanks so much!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Just Stay

Just Stay

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. He was heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.

All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her."Who was that man?" he asked.

The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.

"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son,
knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."

The next time someone needs you ... just be there.


Monday, January 07, 2008

The Transformation has Begun

I'm up and at 'em today. I only wish I didn't have work today, but that is the only way I'll be able to pay for all the things that need to be done around here.

As I've said, I have no idea where this house thing and moving in with Todd is going to lead. One thing I'm thankful for is it has spurred me on to finally doing some things around the house.

The house needs lots done. So you can see what I mean, I'll list what I think it needs to even be considered listing worthy.

Following needs to be done:

  • Trim for around the door, floor and window in Lil's room
  • All the trim needs to be painted - working on that today - Painted the 3 bedroom doors, bathroom door and the floor trim in the hallway. I just need to paint the walls in the hallway and that area will be finished.
  • The kitchen center beam needs to have drywall repaired
  • Most of the switches and plugs need to be changed - working on that
  • The kitchen and hallway need to be painted
  • The landing and front door area needs to be painted
  • Need stair runners cut (oak) for the stairs going down to the basement computer room
  • The stairs up to the main part of the house need to be stripped and re-varnished
  • The oak railings need to be re-varnished to a gleaming high shine
  • The doors to Lily's room, my room and the spare room need to be changed and 3 still need to bought
  • I can use an old door for the entry to the computer room (basement)
  • The entire bathroom needs to be renovated. I own everything just need to get it done
  • Headers need to be built in the 2 bedrooms and the closet doors need to be hung - working on that as well
  • Need to decide on flooring for the computer room and buy it! Ouch
  • The computer room needs drywall ceilings hung - own the drywall need to find someone who can help with that - Found someone to do this. A student and he is going to get H.S. volunteer hours for it.
  • Hang an old door in front of the hide away space under the stairs.
  • The computer room needs the drywall mudding done. I've hung most of the drywall. Maybe I can try my hand at mudding. I'm atrocious, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Same student doing the ceiling will be doing this for said volunteer hours.
  • The trim throughout needs to be spackled and painted -partially complete
  • Trim needs to be hung and painted in both spare room and Lily's room
  • I need to start sorting, selling and purging junk. - Working on this one too.

Why is it this is so long and I don't feel all that overwhelmed. Don't get me wrong I know it's a lot of work, but for some reason I'm only freaking out a little. That is very much unlike me. Could it be the comfort I take from lists? Now, that is just down right sick if you ask me. I will come back and update things as I accomplish them. I can't do all of this right away, I know, but I have to start knocking things off the list. There is just too much to do and too much money needed for me to make huge strives to finishing things, but every little thing will add together and make a big difference.

I'm feeling very focused right now, so that can only be a good thing. I'm thinking to get things done and still find time for life and the gym, I'm going to start sleeping between 6-7 hours per night and using all the other time for this stuff. I'm going to do as much as I can when Lily isn't home because she is just too touchy right now.

Wish me luck!

Always have to consider my stitching life - I'm thinking I'm only going to be able to find time to stitch when I'm at work. I know I will take time to do some at home, but not as much as I would like.

Stay tuned for updates; house and stitching alike.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Headless Fairy Wonder

My headless Halloween Fairy. I was only supposed to work on her for an hour today, but I was sailing along so well, I couldn't put the needle down.

I love how she has no head! I do this with many of my pieces. I know, V, it freaks you out. Just wait until I my next piece and it has a face and no eyes. You love that even more, eh? The reason for this headless wonder is because I start some pieces in the middle and I dislike stitching up so much I work over and down. Notice she has one arm and one leg. She is quite talented a fairy to be able to be so beautiful and balance so gracefully.

When I was almost finished stitching her today I noticed there is a mistake somewhere in her bodice. I will have to figure it out our next time together. Like it or not the wee girl might be getting herself a breast reduction. Poor wee thing!

Thanks so much for looking.

Happy stitching days to you.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

A Mini Cold Front Has Moved In

I've been delaying this post for the entire day. Now, that I'm dogged tired, is probably not the best time to start either. On second thought, it might just be THE best time since I'll be less guarded in how I impart my feelings and thoughts.

Todd and I went to look at THE house yesterday. OMG I can't even begin to describe to you how beautiful it is. There is a minor/major catch right now though. The listing for the house ran out on Wednesday, so the house isn't officially on the market at the moment. It has been on for a bit now and had a few serious offers, but deals fell through. The deals didn't fall through because of problems with the house, but for what I believe is stupid reasons on the part of the buyer. The one person/couple couldn't secure financing (unfortunate for them) and the other person wanted a new furnace installed in the garage. Seriously?

The house has a porch around 3/4 of the house. It is awesome. What I could see of it under the snow, anyway. When we walked up the front stairs, right off we saw 2 perfectly formed bird's nests. They were soooo pretty. Can bird's nests be pretty? The property is 2.5 Acres and it is surrounded by views of water and trees on every side. There are neighbours, but you don't see them from any of the windows really, and if you do it's not something you notice right away.

The kitchen is beautifully laid out with a gorgeous island center and cupboards galore with crown moulding, which adds a real finished look. The counter top is in really good shape. There would be room for my 'country kitchen table'. Oh, if you could have seen how excited I got at the thought of that. There are newly installed french doors leading out from the kitchen to the porch. Oh my word!

The master bedroom/en suite is huge with stunning views. If I'm saying stunning views in winter, you can only imagine what I'll be like in the fall, because let me make one thing crystal clear - I Hate Winter! The 2 other bedrooms are a good size and very workable.

The stairs to the basement are super wide with french doors to the side of the stairs leading to the laundry/storage room. The basement is drywalled, but the ceiling work has yet to be done. There is enough room down there to install another bathroom and bedroom if you choose. A pool table would also fit along with the bedroom. The possibilities with the basement alone are endless.

There is a detached garage with a loft - baseball party central if I've ever seen one. It is large enough to be a double car garage, but right now is a single with a doorway.

As happy as I am that both Todd and I love the house there is a sense of sadness in me because of Lily. It's not that I blame her, I really don't it's just that I would like one time in this 'new' life of mine that I not get resistance about every single thing I do. It is exhausting. I will remember I am the mother and I will make the decisions that impact this family.

I love both of my children, as much as they are both in different places right now, I want nothing more than for them to be happy in life and grow to be positive contributors to society, be healthy and find peace in life. Lily and I have become a lot closer since Alyssa isn't home now and I guess what I really want is for the one person I'm closest to and love so very much, to be happy for me and not so caught up in how everything is going to affect her. Is that selfish of me? I'm not sure. I don't think it is. I've always had a difficult time standing up for myself and putting myself ahead of others, but I really want this. I think, even considering all the changes in store Todd and I could make a good life together!

I made reference to a 'mini cold front moving in' and that would be in direct reference to Lily's attitude. She is quiet. I understand the quiet, I get like that when I'm heavy in thought or extremely tired myself. I don't know what to think and does it really matter what I think? I'm just going about my day to day business and doing things as I always do and hopefully that in itself will give her some sense of security.

I don't know! I'm just torn because I'm so happy, but have the cloud of doom from Lily hanging over my head. Imagine when things really start to move. Todd and I know we both want country living and this house is the area we want and the price is right as well. Things right now are in the earliest of stages and the child is not dealing well. How are things going to go when I have the sign put on the front lawn? What will she do when/if my house sells and things really start moving, literally and figuratively? Oh, if nothing else, life will prove to be interesting in the coming months.

Thanks for sticking with me until the end of this post. As much as it's all over the place, I know in my heart of hearts what I want and what I think will make me very happy. So, with that final thought, I conclude this entry.

Love ya's