Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Going Crazy Rant

I'm sitting here with my tea, my wonderfully warm chai tea. I'm convincing myself this is my morning routine when I'm home and it'll be okay if I take a few minutes before immersing myself in with paint brush and paint. I'm exhausted! I'm sleeping like crap. I'm major guilt tripping. I've flaked on KP (so unfair) at the gym yesterday and today. I lay in bed awake for most of the night and I can not drag my sorry excuse for a butt out of bed at 4:50a. Then a day without the gym frustrates me. I'll never hit the weight loss I want if I don't hit the gym. Seems logical, does it not? If I could get points for the running in my head, that would be something, right?

I've often said I love a challenge, but I love one challenge at a time as opposed to challenges everywhere I look all day long. I want to get as much done to the house as I can. There is one challenge - so far you can score one for the house because it is winning right now. I have the challenge of weight loss, score one for the fat because it's winning right now too! I'm not in so much of a defeated mood as it may seem, I'm more or less just taking stock of the crappy start to my week.

I do have a funny to share with you. In this you'll notice my sarcastic humour. It may sound as though I'm being ungrateful, but I'm really not. I got an e-mail from one of my best friends, Velda where we were discussing my lack of focus and the desire get things done around the house. She tells me, as only she would, the blog junkie, that renovation before and after photos make great blog fodder! Oh, this I know! She tells me the oooohhhh and aaaawwwing I get will be inspiring and push me to get more done. This too, I know. My very sarcastic reply to her (and she gets my sarcastic, and not critical of others humour) was you need to have progress to get AFTER shots..... I think it might have been a 'had to be there moment', but it is very true.

My frustration is that some are telling me they'll help me. I'm such the person, you tell me I expect it that is the way I am. I will not go around begging and bothering you to help me. I will not do it. I will get frustrated and annoyed, but I will not harass you. If I had a dollar for the number of times I've been told I'll help you and then it not happen I'd have all my debt paid off! Velda, I'm not talking about or in any way referring to Sunday and the door. I fear you're thinking I am - honest honey!

Oh, I have a line on a mitre saw! Yaaaa!!!! A co-worker (friend of 16 years) called her husband last night when we were working together to ask it he has one. He does and SHE says I can borrow it. I don't think she quite grasps the concept of a man's attachment to his tools. She is too cute and has no idea what she has just offered to lend me. She thinks she's going to be bringing this in to work for me.... I think not. This saw will probably weight 20+lbs. I was almost crying when I was laughing at her! I love you, Debbie. You are always good for a laugh.

So, that is the most recent installment of the house renovations saga.

Dani, if you've made it this far - yes I can see a funk coming on! I'm fighting it, but I can feel it creeping in and around!

Stitching progress has been good my one night of work so far. I put 193 stitches into Love and I'm almost finished the corner piece and a portion of the one line of script. I see no problem in accomplishing my SAT goals. Something is going right!!! WOOHOO

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