Sunday, December 31, 2006

Reading Resolutions

I try to shy away from resolutions because I never hold up my end of the bargain which in turn only prompts me to feel disappointment in myself. Why bother setting myself up to find disappointment at the end of the day, but this year is going to be different. I am going to make a resolution to read more than I have been lately. I'm going to try and read each night before bed and a bit more throughout the day. The reading throughout the day will be a bit more difficult, but as long as I try I've lived up to the bargain with myself, right?

I'm currently reading James Patterson's Judge and Jury. Midway through the story things are moving quickly and keeping me thoroughly entertained.

Judge and Jury plot line:
Andie DeGrasse, an aspiring actress and single mom, is hoping to get dismissed from the jury pool. She tells the judge that her legal knowledge comes from a bit part curling around a stripper's pole in The Sopranos. But she still ends up as Juror #11 in a landmark trial against a mob boss.

THE JUDGE IS TERRIFIED OF THE DEFENDANT The case becomes the new Trial of the Century. Mafia Don Dominic Cavello, the Electrician, is linked to hundreds of gruesome crimes. Senior FBI agent Nick Pellisante has been tracking him for years, and the evidence against the killer is ironclad.

SO IS THE JURY As the jury is about to reach a verdict, the Electrician makes one devastating move that no one could have predicted. The nation is reeling, and Andie's world is shattered. For her, the hunt for the Electrician becomes personal, and she and Pellisante forge an unbreakable bond: they will exact justice-at any cost.

THE VERDICT: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE Judge & Jury is an all-out heart-pounding legal thriller by "one of America's most influential authors" (New York Times.)

Unconscious Mutterings

Resolution :: change
Happy :: peace
Bubbly :: tickle
Kiss :: sweet
Leather :: smell
Fancy :: dress
Pages :: book
Stupid :: fool
Apologize :: sorry
Secrets :: scary

Not sure I'll do this on a weekly basis, but for now I've done one week. You can join the mailing list by clicking here

The End of One and the Beginning of Another

On this last day of the year I can't help but think back on 2006 with many fond memories and thoughts of personal growth, trial and error and many successes mixed in to keep life in balance.

I'm so thankful for all things that happened in the year that brought me where I am right now. There were times when I wasn't sure what was to come, but that just kept things from becoming boring or too normal. It was only the beginning of this year when I didn't have a clue where I was headed from day to day, I still don't really know where I'm headed now, but I can say with certainty I'm okay with wherever my life leads.

I'm in such a better place in one short year, a much better place than I thought possible. It is amazing when you just live life how sweet it can be. What is to be will be and I look forward to the adventure and experience of it all.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Don't Get Any Ideas In Your Head Or Too Comfortable

If you ever get comfortable you'll regret it. I've learned this one the hard way just moments ago.

I quit with my girls and there isn't much that will change my way of thinking at this point. I've come to realize I've raised very selfish young ladies and I use the term 'ladies' very loosely. I have a most bitter taste in my mouth in regards to the way they are turning out. I'm not sure if I'm more disappointed in them or myself. I need to stop making excuses for them and I will no longer do it. I try to rationalize things, but all I'm doing is making it easier for them to avoid and control.... I quit.

I sit on the edge of leaving a life I knew with their father and moving forward with a new and different life. I'm trying to be understanding of them and not force them to make this transition just because it's what I want, but to that end there is no generosity of spirit from either. I ask or tell them to do something and all I get is resistence... if it's not what they want they fight it... well, ya know what girls, fight all ya want. I quit trying with you anymore! I give more than any parent I know and all I get back is ignorance, attitude and disrespect! Your ship has sailed and you've missed the boat.

In total sarcastic nature, something for which I'm famous ~ Happy Holidays to you! Your spirit of giving is something of which legends are made!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Giggles Girl Start

Okay, first off I confess I'm in the process of losing my mind! I've just started WIP piece #13. What am I thinking? Oh ya, I'm not! I must think I'm stitcher extraordinaire, I really must. Pam and I have this tradition that when we work together on Boxing Day we start a new piece together. This year's piece is Giggles Girl for me and Giggles Boy for her.

I still have last year's Boxing Day piece in rotation and some day I'll get it finished, but at this rate it'll be a bit longer than just yesterday.

Christmas Blessings

Well, Christmas is over for another year and for the first time in a very long time I was spoiled!! I know in a previous post I said Christmas isn't about presents and in my heart, I know this, but let me tell how blessed in the present department I was this year.

I will list these presents in the order I remember receiving them:

~Corona Glass Decoration (Velda)
~Snowman Quilt Wallhanging (Velda)
~12 Day presents (Pam) (insert link)
~Cookies in a jar (Barbie)
~Baked goodies (Kathy)
~Desktop Notepad (Karen)
~Scented Waffer Burner (Karen and just because we worked together on Christmas morning)
~A vanilla candle, bath salts and beads in a red mug, vanilla lotion and a huge bath towel (Annie Fannie Fo Fannie)
~Money and 3 beautiful snowmen ornaments (former MIL)
~New York Yankee Fuzzy Dice for my car (Queenie and Princess)
~A Wrought Iron and Glass Candle holder (Princess and Queenie)
~8x10 picture of Alyssa and Mike (Mike)

All the following presents are from Cute Boy:
~very big snowman decoration from his daughters
~2 boxes Tim Horton's Chai Tea
~Tim Horton's Tea Pot (I've NEVER owned a tea pot)
~Wine bottle opener
~Body Shop Vanilla Body Sugar
~Deirks Bentley CD
~Chocolate Bars
~A Jimmie Johnston hand drawn photograph
~A most adorable Kitty Cat Calendar with inspirational sayings
~A teddybear holiday door wreath
~Kitty Cat Wax Dipped Room Deoderizer

All these presents listed, I know I'm spoiled and that is something very foreign to me. It was strange but wonderful and very much appreciated. That being said all listed presents are awesome but the most precious of gifts were those you couldn't buy with all the money in the world. My children are healthy and for the most part, I hope, happy. My soon to be ex in-laws are still so loving and welcoming of me. They offered for me to spend Christmas dinner with them. I did refuse and that was more than difficult, but something I felt I really had to do. I pray the love they have for me is enough to enable them to understand the struggle I face in trying to find my way in this new life of mine. I am blessed with the most amazing friends and was able to spend time with each of them over the holiday season, which is no small feat!

One of the most amazing gifts given to me was from Cute Boy and this gift is the simplest of all. It was his time, his affection, his hugs, his hand on my leg, a kiss, or a touch of my face. Shall I go on? It was a heavenly night of sweet moments with him in front of his fireplace and in those quiet moments, and most comfortable of quiet, wrapped in his arms with the sweetest of smiles on my lips. I ask myself what more could bless my life or how much more perfect could a Christmas be than I one I just experienced? I think nothing could top this one!

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas Wishes

The sweetness of Christmas surrounds me even as I sit here at work. As much as I would love to be at home with my girls right now and with others I love dearly, I'm blessed by the fact I'm working in the hospital and not a patient. I'm blessed to have the job I have in spite of how atrocious the schedule is and how gruelling it can be on a personal life. Looking on the bright side of things, I know I have a great job that affords me a good life.

I love Christmas and look forward to it every year. I don't know if it's the day itself or the preparation and anticipation of the day I look forward to most of all. There is a sweetness in the holidays that I wish I could find in the everyday.

Every year I try to put the emphasis on something more than presents, but I'm never successful. I love to buy and to give to others, so I end up fueling the economy more than I should. I don't buy and give just for the sake of doing so, but to see the smile on the face of others, to let them know I'm thinking of them. I'm very much a giver, on every level so it fits that Christmas is my favorite time of year. It fits me to perfection that I'm able to give to those I love.

I wish for you to find peace in your heart and love from those around you.

Merry Christmas

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Bring It On!

An unexpected but very welcome financial windfall could lead to some long-desired changes in your living situation. You may decide to make an actual move, or you could opt for a less drastic course of action, such as redecorating, remodeling, or refurnishing. A member of your household could move out, or someone new moves in. These are all very positive changes, likely to make a big difference in the course of your life.

Jaime, this one's for you, hon! I like reading my blog too when I post horoscopes like this one! I don't know that I always believe what is predicted, but it sure would be fun for this prediction to come true.

I'm a bit more comfortable with this one right now since Queenie has already left and come home. I wouldn't think I'd have anyone move in with me, but who knows anymore. lol

Spend It Like Ya Got It!

What a night I had last night and get your mind out of the gutter! It wasn't that kind of night, ALMOST as good though, okay maybe that's a stretch because nothing much compares to THAT! Sorry, Pam. I love ya, but nothing compares to THAT!

In all the craziness of preparing for Christmas things have not been getting done like they should. I worked a day shift yesterday so I figured I'd make a great dent in all the things I needed to get done in the evening. That worked for a short time, until Pam came over. I was able to make 2 batches of shortbread, but 1 batch is garbage....stupid story. I then made a batch of Peanut Butter Fudge, awwww peanut butter, oh sorry that was supposed to be my inner voice, while Pam and Princess made a Ball Art Jar (pic coming soon, hopefully). I don't know if I was having more fun making my fudge (not) or listening to the two of them.

The girls and Mike were off to the movies so Pam and I hit the town. We went to Michael's for an hour and half, drooling over all the things we would like to learn to do. What a blast! We ended up spending a wee bit of money, but not too much, all things considered. Velda, if you're reading this I got another of your 12 day presents. I love and want to keep it for myself, but that is really nothing new!

The next pit stop on our travels was Starbucks! Why oh why did I ever suggest Pam and I try Starbucks? I'm soooooo sorry. Last night was my treat. We take turns since it is so darn expensive, but worth every penny! lol I can't wait to go next time because of course that one is free. Not really, but it works for me!

Off we head to Walmart. Let me tell ya, this 11pm shopping thing can get scary and fast. Again, I didn't spend very much. I did buy the most beautiful centrepiece for my kitchen table. (pics soon, hopefully). Now, I said I didn't spend much, but notice I've not said much about Pam? This woman was too funny. I was using the racks to hold myself up when laughing at her. She bought and bought and bought. I was no help, but she knows when she needs somewhere to set up her box house I'll help her find waterfront property. It might be in front of a puddle, but I'll have tried. Pam, honey, spend it like ya got it!

While at Walmart we hook up with Mary T (Pam's friend, and becoming mine too). After our exhausting shop (poor Mastercard) we come back to my place for a drink, fudge and shortbread cookies. We really needed the sugar rush after the workout Pam gave her Mastercard.

I had a great night considering I was going to be spending a quiet night home alone while the girls were out at the movies. Thanks Pam for always being here for me even when you don't even know! You truly are the greatest and I'm so happy to have you in my life! It is days like this that are so good for the soul.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Horoscope Future Thoughts

Another holy wow horoscope! This is so cool.

Discussions with friends or colleagues about possible future business enterprises could find you taking a lot of notes. Your natural meticulousness should serve you well at this, as it'll be important to have accurate records to discuss later. Any new project begun at this time is likely to succeed, especially if writing, speaking, or other forms of entertainment or creative arts are involved. Don't bother worrying about the specter of possible failure.

I look forward to the future and all that it brings. Today's horoscope is just another reason to be excited about the coming days. You never know what is in store, so on that note keep pushing forward regardless of the struggles and challenges in your way. Today is the day you're given and tomorrow is your future! Live with reckless abandon and with all you have to give. Anything less than all you have you'll be selling yourself and those you love short of the wonderful experiences of your life!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Some Thoughts To Live By

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don''t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
3. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mom. Wish I could
16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books and watch less TV.
27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation.Don't bring up the past.
31. Read between the lines.
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the earth.
34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.
38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
41. Learn the rules then break some.
42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

The Gift of a Friend

I've been remiss the last week with posting. I've been struggling to find inspiration to provide something earth shattering or thought invoking to chatter about in this forum. Earth shattering! Who am I kidding? Do I really think I'm that filled with knowledge? I'm a funny funny girl.

I had the honour of hanging out with Wee Krista last night. It was a very spontaneous visit with her, but sometimes they're the best kind. It has been much too long since I've taken the time to make time for Krista. As usual, it was such fun. It wasn't a long time, but it doesn't have to be with good friends.

I'm amazed at times with the ease of flow with this friendship. As I said it's been a while since I've seen Krista, but you'd never know it. It was like we were just together. What a lucky girl I am to have a friend like her in my life! Love ya girl! Now, get to starting your own blog. It'll be fun! Don't worry about being 'all over the place'. You've read mine! It's like an emotional rollercoaster at the best of time. If life is good, the mood is light and fun. If life is a struggle I don't post or it is sad and filled with heavy thoughts.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Holy Horoscope

It is ok to cry today. Realize that the action of releasing is critical to the action of receiving. If you have no sense of fear and restriction, it may be hard for you to experience joy and expansion. Incorporate the good with the bad and let these two powers settle harmoniously within your being. Sew the seeds that will allow you to soar to great heights today, but make sure you are ready to accept the challenges that come along with your growth.

I don't want to cry today! Will I only receive if I cry? I really don't want to cry. I've done enough crying these last couple days. Can that not count for today? Who says it can't count?. I really don't want to cry. I know, I already said that, but it bears repeating.

I have more of a sense of fear and restriction than many would probably realize. I fear so much and one of the most fearful things is being restricted in who I am and what I love. I do believe I have a strong enough sense of fear and restriction to easily experience joy and expansion. I could do with more joy in my life, so I'm thinking I'm coming to the table with a pretty good offering! Bring on the joy! Do I know how to let the good and bad live harmoniously within my being? Personally, I think I do a respectable job of balancing my good and bad. I really want the moment today where I've sewn the seeds that will allow me to soar to great heights, so I'll stand up to the challenges that come along with the growth... anything to soar to great heights.

I will report back with what the day brings. I'm hoping it is something sweet and wonderful and not something heartbreaking. Keep your fingers crossed, okay?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Holy Creepy!

I've been posting a lot in the last day or two. Sadly of those posts, nothing really from my head or heart (deleted it), but the few posts I've done have been equally important to me, as if these were words from my own mouth.

The lyrics I post are important to me, because they have touched me or fit with something I'm feeling or dealing with at the time I've posted them. My horoscopes are posted only when they are strangely accurate to what I'm dealing with at the time as well. I love how outside sources are parrallel to your own experiences. It is reassuring, but sad to know that others can possibly be dealing with your same issues.

Here is my horoscope for today. I'm seriously a wee bit creeped out about this one. I'm dealing with things and this one just fits my state of being perfectly. How is that so?

Reconnect with your self-worth today, and literally say to yourself out loud, "I am awesome." You are terrific at extending your heart out to others and helping them along with their issues. Now take some of that love and caring and focus it on yourself. Issues having to do with love and romance are of primary concern today and you should take time to evaluate where you are at this stage and nourish this part of your being.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

More Music Today ~ Chris Daughtry

It's Not Over

I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
I’ll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

I've taken all I can take,
And I cannot wait.
We're wasting too much time
Being strong and holding on.
Can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I’ll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?'
Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out.
Don't get caught up in yourself.
Let it out.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Let’s start over.
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

I heard this song today on my way to work. I couldn't recognize the voice. I knew I was familiar with the raspy sound of this beautiful voice, but still couldn't figure it out. Thanks to wonderful search engines I was able to discover that Chris Daughtry from American Idol fame has hit the airwaves.

Chris was my all-time favorite of AI 5 and I was so disappointed when he was eliminated. I still think he was the most talented of the contestants and now I'm on a quest to find his CD.

Don't Make Me!

Another lyric post. This one is:

Don't Make Me

Girl, when I look at you
you look through me
like I'm not even there.
Trying not to give up
to be strong but
I'm afraid to say I'm scared.
I can't find the place
your heart is hiding.
I'm no quitter but
I'm tired of fighting.

Baby I love you
don't wanna lose you
don't make me let you go.
Took such a long time
for me to find you
don't make me let you go.
Baby, I'm begging please
and I'm down here on my knees.
I don't wanna have to set you free.
Don't make me.

What if when I'm long gone
it dawns on you
you just might want me back.
Let me make myself clear
if I leave here
its done, i'm gone. Thats that.
You carry my love around
like it's a heavy burden.
I'm about to take it back.
Are you sure its worth it?

Baby I love you
don't wanna lose you
don't make me let you go.
Took such a long time
for me to find you
don't make me let you go.
Baby, I'm begging please
and I'm down here on my knees.
I don't wanna have to set you free.
Don't make me.

Baby, I'm begging please and I'm down here on my knees.
I don't wanna have to set you free.
Don't make me.
Don't make me.

This is the most recent release from Blake Shelton. I loved this song from the very first time I heard it. I think Blake Shelton is fast becoming a king of the country ballad. This man's music can bring a tear to my eye as quick as a heartbeat!

Today's horoscope

It might take you an extra few minutes to get out of bed today, but when you do, it will be worth it. You will find that the more honest you have been with people, the more payoffs you will see today. Dependability and trustworthiness are key issues that you might find yourself focusing on. Act strong and proud with regard to who you are, and the rewards will come. Bring a certain amount of tenderness to all your actions today.

I certainly hope I can live by these words today. I know not what the day will bring and I mean that to be true on every level, so I hope I can keep these thoughts floating through my head when dealing with my day and those in it.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

WHOA Wine, baby

I've been friends with the ever-wonderful Velda for 11 years and today was the first time I was honoured to share a glass of wine with her, and what a glass of wine that became!

I have to say, as much as sharing the wine was fun, I'm glad it's not something we do often. We got ourselves in enough trouble with one glass of wine consumed over about 45 minutes. If this was a common occurence we'd be in world of hurt. Velda and I were laughing sooooo hard, we had Peter looking at us like he's never seen us before. Poor man! There was one point with Velda, hand over mouth (mouth filled with wine) laughing so hard I thought she was going to spit all over herself. I just sat back, laughing the entire time, reppeating, 'That is going to stain'. Must have said that about 10 times! Too funny and very much 'had to be there moment'.

We have some things on the burner now that, right now, I'm not sure I should divulge. I'll let Velda work her magic and between the two of us, when we decide the time is right, we'll spill the beans! I'm so excited and hope what we're working on can be accomplished. I'm sure with two Virgos at the helm, things will be fine! The vow has been made, the hands have been shook and the promise, no matter what the friendship comes first!

Bring on the wine and the fits of giggles..... Canadian snow storms, V, will represent White. Bring it on, baby! Be specific or else!

I love my life right now (minus a few things that will work out eventually) and look forward to tomorrow more and more and this is just the next step towards a better tomorrow. Yesterday and today have to rate rather high up on the scale of two awesome days. Yesterday with Todd was truly a simple, but most amazing day. I had one of the best days with him yet and today with him was just as sweet and to top it off with Velda and our "New Adventures of Old Velda and Tammy" we should continue on with days like today!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Tu Compania

Sounds real good now
If I could be anywhere with anyone
You know exactly where'd I'd be
Under the covers waiting for the sun to rise
Your head on the pillow next to me

Your feet propped up on that kitchen chair
Morning papers scattered all around you
Coffee brewing on the cast iron stove
And the pleasure of just knowing that your mine

Well, I love the way you look
Love the way you feel
And the way you roll your eyes
At the kisses that I steal
Love the way you stare
When you're staring right at me
I just love your company
Oh, yes, I do

Arm in arm on some
Spring sidewalk day
Laughing just because it feels so right
Wrapped up under the blankets all cozy by the fire
As long as you're here close enough to touch

Well, I love the way you look
Love the way you smell
And I love your pretty eyes
And the lies they never tell
Love the way you stare
when you're staring right at me
I just love your company
Oh, yes, I do
Oh, here we go now

What would my blog be without the weekly ramblings and posting about one song or another and how it touches me? I love this song for many reasons and right now, because it speaks about the simplicity I'm looking for in life, and there are times when I'm living that simple existence and couldn't be happier in those sweet moments.
I thought the eye candy of the very pretty Keith Urban wouldn't hurt either. I love this photo of him, not to mention my hair is semi styled after his!

Monday, December 04, 2006

The Letter 'T'

Why do I let myself get sucked in to these things. There is a letter game going around on blogger and thank you, Velda for sending me my letter.

The Letter T

1. now represents to me a personal growth

2. Tea...Chai Tea is like a warm hug

3. can give so much to someone with just offering your time

4. Thread...otherwise known as 'floss'

5. Truth...without it you have nothing

6. Thank you...use your manners. They're free

7. Thoughtfullness...I try to live my life by being thoughtful of others

8. Talk...something I do too much of some days

9. Today....Every 'today' I wake up is a good day

10. T- Cute Boy ... from turtle to T- Cute Boy and it is as simple a journey as that

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Wonderfully Welcome

I just had the most wonderful afternoon. The only thing missing was my family! What does that really say when you get right down to it?

I spent last night with Cute Boy and his girls. We went to dinner to celebrate Cute Boy's birthday. Today we went to his sister's house for lunch. We didn't get to stay for very long, but the time there was incredible. I'm still really quiet, but I think having met me one time prior to this, they somewhat expected it. I'm really very shy until I get to know people and have never really done well in large crowds of people. I'm so impressed by the warmth shown by Cute Boy's family. We walk in and his sisters are right there giving hugs, me too!!!! Very much an ease setting thing for me.

I've so many estrangements in my life and they break my heart. As I'm leaving the house today, I'm driving with tears rolling down my face. It is so sad to see the destruction of my own family. I'm getting to a point that I'm becoming consumed with thoughts to make this right and just don't know how, not to mention the fact I'm a slight bit cowardly in making the first move. So much time as gone by and hurts have been done that I'm not sure how much there is left to fight for anymore.

All things being said, I did go to my Grandmother's house today ~ step 1. She wasn't home, but I'll keep trying. I left a message and I'll now wait and see what comes of it. My only reservation is that right now with the holidays, I want a reunion with my family because it is what is right not just because the holidays are approaching. Something for the wrong reasons is just wrong no matter how you look at it.

Life in all it's wonder is a gift like no other, but at times it can be so difficult. How is it that things can get so blown out proportion? I think that is why I will do most anything to avoid confrontation. My history dictates when I stand up for myself people walk away. Is it that I'm so much a disposable in their life? Do they miss me or am I just someone 'they use to know'?

A day of questions today is, when all things in my life seem so much clearer than ever before. I feel for the first time in a long time I know where I'm headed, what I want and with whom. I shall again remind myself this life thing is a one-day-at-a-time wonder. I will live each day to be happy, even through the struggles, strive to be the best I can be and settle for nothing less than the best for myself. I think in the end if you've lived a life you can be proud of, you've treated people with the respect they deserve and have done the best you can do for yourself and others in the situation you find yourself at any given time, you've done well. I like to think, thus far, in my life I've done well!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Red High Heels

I love these boots and just had to the have them... boots are my weakness, red is my favorite colour. I was a goner before I even got out of the gate! I can blame Pam all I want, but I know I wanted them, I really really wanted them. I can't wait to wear them now.

In salute to my little red boots, I'll post the lyrics to another song I really like at the moment. What kind of week would it be if I didn't post the lyrics to a song that I love or that has moved me on some level, right?


Baby I’ve got plans tonight

You don’t know nothin’ about
I’ve been sitting around way too long
Trying to figure you out
But you say that you’ll call and you don’t
And I’m spinning my wheels
So I’m going out tonight
In my red high heels

I’m gonna call up that old boyfriend
Who says he has it bad for me
I’m gonna take him into town
Flaunt him around for everyone to see
Well you said so yourself You know the deal
Nobody holds a candle to me
In my red high heels

Well you can watch me walk if you want to, want to
I’ll bet you want me back now don’t you, don’t you
I’m about to show you just how missin’ me feels
In my red high heels

All those games you tried to play
Well they aint gonna work on me now
I put up a barbed wire fence around my heart
Baby just to keep you out
Well you thought I’d wait around forever
But baby get real
I just kicked you to the curb
In my red high heels

Oh you can watch me walk if you want to, want to
I’ll bet you want me back now don’t you, don’t you
I’m about to show you just how missin’ me feels
In my red high heels

The Wonders of Stitching

I'm so happy to know I'm in a place that I've found the love of my stitching again. I know I love it, but when things get crazy I will let my head get in the way and my stitching is the first to suffer. It's strange that I'd let the stitching suffer only because it brings me such calm when I'm able to find the time to dedicate to it.

This past month I only worked on 4 pieces:
Spirit of Christmas ~ 4 hours
Dear Santa ~ 3 hours
Velda's Fairy Grandmother ~ 2 hours 45 minutes (must get this back to her, and soon)
Christmas Ornament ~ 8 hours 50 minutes
Total: 18 hours 35 minutes

All things consider, which is always the determining factor, I'm really quite happy with what I accomplished this past month.

Today is the start of a Stitch-a-thon on the Cross Stitch Board so I'm hoping to be able to get even better numbers for this month, but with Christmas and all that entails, who knows what I'll be able to get done.

I'll do my best to get a few updates posted. Stay tuned!