A Charmed Gift

I'm a little late to the party when it comes to Charmed Aroma.  That all changed today.  My mother-in-law brought me a Charmed Aroma bath bomb and I couldn't wait to relax and unearth my gift.

My love of pumpkin has now wiggled its way in to my Christmas celebrations!  SWEET!!

I never expected to get anything near as pretty as I discovered inside my bath bomb!

I love it! 

I don't know when I will ever have the opportunity to wear it, but I love that I received such a pretty bauble.  

Not only was the bath a wonderful way to spend a few minutes on a cold and blustery winter day, but to be gifted with such a pretty gift - priceless.  

Taking time to soak in the little moments that make a day special. 

Until next time,  

~T xo

Some Days

Some days are a mixed bag of everything and anything.

I should be in bed. I should be in bed, but I also know this is something I have to get off my chest, out of my head and free from my thoughts.

I've had a day of so many emotions that I know the thought of sleep is just that, a thought. I just got home from hanging out with one of the most amazing women I've ever the honour of knowing and loving! My Miss Mary.

You see, Miss Mary used to be married to my cousin and is no longer. It has been years that Mary and I have been developing our friendship,. Our friendship really took hold when her marriage fell apart. It was through our e-mails, mine of support to her, that I saw in a more clear light, what an incredible woman my cousin let slip through his fingers. It is with great honour I can call this incredible woman my friend. I could go on and on singing her praises and Mary being Mary would let me too.

I come from an extremely dysfunctional family and it breaks my heart on many levels. I talk about it only to those I'm closest to because it is just too painful to have to deal with at the best of times. This is not the best of times.

I've not been close to my grandmother for quite some time because of the family dysfunction. I've been estranged from my father and his wife for 9 years now. As much as I tried to keep the problems with my father from spilling over into other areas of my life, it just couldn't be. My grandmother became too involved trying to mend the relationship with her son and granddaughter and using my daughter's as the instrument. It was then I had to step away from the situation. There needed to be some distance to save my children from becoming a pawn in a drama beyond their comprehension. This estrangement with my father is so very sad and something I've tried, to no avail, to fix numerous times over the last 9 years. My daughters have tried and I have tried. It was a few years ago that I just developed the approach of indifference to the situation. That isn't something I'm proud of, but in the interest of trying to protect my heart, and shield my children, I had to turn it off to a degree.

For the now. My grandmother has been admitted to hospital. Mary and I went to visit her this evening. I felt like I was an emotional cheater in having Mary with me when I went to see my grandmother after such a long time away. There gets to be a point that a change needs to be made and someone needs to step up to the plate and take a swing a making it better. That is what Mary and I did this evening. I know I could have never done it without her (in case you're reading - I love you).

I walked in to that hospital room with my heart beating out of my chest, sweating palms and shaky knees. It was insane. I took one look at my grandmother asleep in that bed and the tears just started rolling. My grandmother was asleep and we were just going to write a note to let her know we where there, until the nurse came in and spoke which woke my grandmother. When she saw Mary and I together she just about jumped out of her bed which is no easy feat from a woman in her condition. Hugs all around and a few more tears. I was really struggling with the words, so Mary, bless her soul, just chattered away as though she'd just seen my grandmother yesterday.

My grandmother advised me really early on in the visit that my father would be there to visit in about a half hour. I wasn't there to see anyone but her, so that my father would come visit too, was just the way it would have to be. True to form, my dad showed up when expected. Now, I don't cut my dad a lot of slack, but I have to say, I felt for him at that moment. He had no idea we were going to be there until he walked around the curtain. My dad and I were in the same room with one another for 45 minutes. That very well may be the longest we've been in one another's company since this whole mess started. Mary summed it up best by saying, "It was like an Uncle/Niece conversation not Father/Daughter".

Leaving my grandmother was tough, but taking the first step was tougher. I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I had the opportunity to do it. I am glad to have had Mary with me.

The night ended with Mary and I going for dinner at The Lonestar and catching up with one another's lives. I love this girl like you can't even know. I am truly blessed that my cousin married her to bring her in to my life. He may have let her slip away, but I wont.

I love you, girl!

With my head and heart unloaded, I'm off to bed.

Sweet dreams.

When You Do This...

You get this....

Cute Boy and I took Daisy apple picking this afternoon and she was spent by the time all was said and done.

After picking apples we went to visit Cute Boy's sister and BIL for BIL's birthday today. I'm ashamed to say that Daisy was a snob to Cute Boy's sister. She wouldn't sit with Gloria or give her the time of day, really. She couldn't get enough of Dave nor the chipmunk watching, which was absolutely hilarious. My dog has developed a love of chipmunk watching and chasing if I'd allow such behaviour. What is a dog mommy to do when her baby grows up to be a monster?

Wonderfully Welcome

I just had the most wonderful afternoon. The only thing missing was my family! What does that really say when you get right down to it?

I spent last night with Cute Boy and his girls. We went to dinner to celebrate Cute Boy's birthday. Today we went to his sister's house for lunch. We didn't get to stay for very long, but the time there was incredible. I'm still really quiet, but I think having met me one time prior to this, they somewhat expected it. I'm really very shy until I get to know people and have never really done well in large crowds of people. I'm so impressed by the warmth shown by Cute Boy's family. We walk in and his sisters are right there giving hugs, me too!!!! Very much an ease setting thing for me.

I've so many estrangements in my life and they break my heart. As I'm leaving the house today, I'm driving with tears rolling down my face. It is so sad to see the destruction of my own family. I'm getting to a point that I'm becoming consumed with thoughts to make this right and just don't know how, not to mention the fact I'm a slight bit cowardly in making the first move. So much time as gone by and hurts have been done that I'm not sure how much there is left to fight for anymore.

All things being said, I did go to my Grandmother's house today ~ step 1. She wasn't home, but I'll keep trying. I left a message and I'll now wait and see what comes of it. My only reservation is that right now with the holidays, I want a reunion with my family because it is what is right not just because the holidays are approaching. Something for the wrong reasons is just wrong no matter how you look at it.

Life in all it's wonder is a gift like no other, but at times it can be so difficult. How is it that things can get so blown out proportion? I think that is why I will do most anything to avoid confrontation. My history dictates when I stand up for myself people walk away. Is it that I'm so much a disposable in their life? Do they miss me or am I just someone 'they use to know'?

A day of questions today is, when all things in my life seem so much clearer than ever before. I feel for the first time in a long time I know where I'm headed, what I want and with whom. I shall again remind myself this life thing is a one-day-at-a-time wonder. I will live each day to be happy, even through the struggles, strive to be the best I can be and settle for nothing less than the best for myself. I think in the end if you've lived a life you can be proud of, you've treated people with the respect they deserve and have done the best you can do for yourself and others in the situation you find yourself at any given time, you've done well. I like to think, thus far, in my life I've done well!