Thursday, December 01, 2011

Things That Go Bang In The Night

I'm still absolutely furious as I write this entry, 12 hours after the fact.

I was on my way home from work last night sitting at an intersection, when a car pulled up beside me.  It should have pulled up diagonal from my vehicle since I was the 4th car in my lane, and this particular car would have been the 3rd car in their lane.  

The car sat opposite my car and the occupants, got my attention, partly because that was a stupid driving move.  If I thought that was a stupid driving move, what happened next is beyond stupid.

The occupants were laughing and jeering (I could see mouths moving), and the driver pulled up a gun and shot 2 times at my car.  The gun was a play gun, but for a split second, you don't know that.  With the windows up on my car, I couldn't hear the gun go off, but heard the 2 dings off my car's passenger door.

The vehicle and it's occupants advanced when the light turned green.  I did what I could to get the licence plate, but of all nights, I didn't have my my cel phone.  Forgot it at home.  I wasn't able to properly remember the plate number.  I'm so mad at myself.  I do remember the last 5 digits "NY 709".  It was the combination of the first letters that I know I messed up.  The NY part was easy to remember because of New York, and the 709 is a commonly used pager number at work.  GRRRR on messing up the first digits.

I called the police when I got home.  I know what happened was bad, but I wasn't really thinking of how bad it was until the dispatcher told me an officer would be out to my house shortly to speak with me.  It then dawned on me, it was a crime with a gun.  A toy gun, but a gun just the same. It all just clicked with me.  I am so mad at myself that I messed up the plate number  - so mad!

It just hits me from time to time that people are bat-shit crazy!  Stupid little punks!   Seriously, they need to be taken home and their arses whooped and good!

Who would think, eh, just driving home and all this could happen.  You just never know. I've said that from time to time, but to actually feel it is just crazy.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Long Time No Communication

I have not blogged in a dog's age.  To the point of why bother anymore?

Most of my computer time is spent on a wedding board and mindless clicking game links on Facebook.  I don't  do much blog related activity at home, never have and the work computer parameters have changed so much that I can read blogs, but can't access my own blog from work.

Even as I start this, I wonder who out there is interested in what I have to say anyway, so has the blogging world really lost much when I've not been blogging?  I think the answer that best applies, would be: NO!

Never one to give up or in easily, I'm still here. My fingers continue to type.

Live, since I've last been here, has been hectic to say the least.

  • Princess and the Prince have moved away. My heart breaks a little every day.  I'm getting used to it, but it's not easy.  I am very proud of her and her quest to go back to school.  I just really wish she would stay in town to do it. 
  • Queenie is doing really well.  Very proud of her. 
  • Wedding plans are fast and furious.  I'm enjoying myself and questioning my decisions most every day.  It's insane this wedding planning business. 
  • Cuteboy and I are quickly approaching our 2nd annual winter vacation.  I can not wait to put my feet up, read a book and drink free beverages for a week.  REALLY CAN NOT WAIT
  • The battle of the body is still ongoing.  I've actually hit my highest weight to date.  It is heart breaking and something I am so tired of dealing with.  I whine and cry and do nothing about making changes.  Things will remain the same if you don't make a change in your behaviour.  I tell myself that, but in the strangest way, it goes right out the other ear.  I've tried switching ears, but it seem both ears allow for important information to escape. 
Anyway, that is my life in a nutshell.  

I think I will attempt be a bit more consistent with my posts.  This is a short one, but it really does feel good to see things coming together in the form of thoughts getting out of my head.  

Until next time.... 

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Wasted Time

I feel like I'm doing nothing but wasting time.

Wasting time with thoughts of wanting to work out.

Wasting time pretending to eat properly then blow it with stupid decisions.

Wasting time working to pay for a gym membership that I don't use.

Wasting time spending energy with negative self imagine and self worth thoughts.

My weight has hit another all time high. This is getting to the point of pathetic, if not already past the point of pathetic. Something has to give and I do hope it's not the button on my pants.

My plan for the month of July was to run/walk a distance of 30 miles. That is a distance of 1 mile per day. Not too hard, right? Wrong!!!! I went to the gym 3x for a total distance of 12.38 miles. That distance includes a 6 mile walk, so to say I came up short would be an understatement.

I give up!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Happy Heart

I was given the most incredible news this week and it has taken me a bit of time to process.

My dear friend Velda who has been battling cancer for coming up on 2 years now. Her prognosis wasn't a good one, but in true Velda fashion, she has shown that damn disease she is not going quietly in the night.

I have been remiss with my blog. Remiss with my friendships. I fill my days with stuff and stuff and stuff. Not a lot of time is spent with Velda. There are many stupid reasons for that, and right now, not one that I want to share!

I was talking to Velda earlier this week and was so happy to hear that her tumours are half their original size or gone completely. From where she started, the journey from there to here, that is wonderful news!

For me, one a more personal selfish level, this brings us one day closer! An extra day of time together to hopefully share with each other some special happenings and experiences.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Long Time Gone

Sometimes I wonder why I haven't deleted my blog yet?

I love my blog. I really do, but I just don't make time for it anymore. It makes me sad to think that I don't make time for myself to express my thoughts, feelings and silly life happenings anymore.

I come here periodically and dump info and then run again. My blog has become a hit and run blog. Poor thing!

I will try to be kinder, gentler and more considerate in the future.

Since I've last visited I have done the following:

  • Walked a half marathon (3 hrs +)

  • Walked a 10.5K (1hr 41m)

  • Gained and lost the same 10lbs - bleh

Wedding Related Stuff

  • Was given a beautiful engagement ring (finally ::) Seriously worth the wait

  • Set a date

  • Chose a reception location (still waiting on word from chef/organizer)

  • Have been flipping and flopping on some decisions (grrrr)

  • Made a major decision on a surprise element for Cute Boy (down payment tomorrow)

  • Have been searching high and low for a certain type of shoe. Getting closer!
I think that is all the stuff that I have to share, or that I think you would be interested in reading about. :)

Until next time, and hopefully that doesn't translate to a month from now.... take care!

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Precious Prince

I'm back!!!!!

I have a shameless plug of little boy cuteness. In my last entry I said I would be back with an updated pic of my adorable grandson. This picture is my little heart breaker a week ago. I was able to take part in bath time.

I'm rendered speechless by my love and awe of little guy, so be this my Wordless Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Where Has The Time Gone?

It does not seem like an entire month since I've last blogged, but apparently it has been near to that, if not even longer.

I've been busy, although I'm not sure I've been THAT busy.

My commitment to more positive thinking has been going well. My body will do what it will do and what I push it to do. There is really nothing to be gained in my mentally abusing myself. I wouldn't talk to a friend the way I sometimes internally talk to myself. I'm impressed with how much I've changed my self-directed dialogue.

Time has been spent in love with the most adorable little grandson to ever grace the earth. It goes without saying, that I am so in love with him it is nuts.

This is a very old picture of him.... how is 2 months an old picture? I like it because it is so crisp and his wee eyes are open.

Weight Watchers is going well. I'm down a total of 4.5lbs. Would love for that number to be much higher, but this time around I feel like I'm doing this the right way. Good eats. Good gym time and a mental balance that is working really well for me.

No news on the engagement front. And I mean, no news! There is still no ring. No date and not even a lot of talking about it. I'm trying to keep positive about this. although I'd be telling in big old lie if I said it wasn't bothering me. I'm working with myself on a daily basis not to over think things, although that is what I do and what I am doing.

I will be back in the next couple days with more chatter. Probably nothing much important, but chatter.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Late for Lent

I never did post what I was giving up for Lent. I didn't know what would best suit me this year, almost to the point I thought I wouldn't be participating this year. I finally figured it out.

I am going to give up negative self-talk. I am really bad about listening to the internal voice that chatters to me. The chattering isn't usually a positive comment, but something that is a pick at a physical trait or a personal limitation. The way clothes fit or don't fit. That sorta things getting exhausting!

It dawned on me this week at my WW meeting. I weighed in with a loss of .5lbs. I wanted more than a half pound loss. I would have normally come here and said, "I only lost a half pound". I lost half pound. That is a half pound that brings me closer to my ultimate goal. That is a half pound that puts me that much closer to fitting in to clothing that didn't fit last month. I am a half pound closer to all those things. I am happy with that.

Negative chatter no more. It may take me a bit and I'll keep working on it.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Week One Weigh In

My first week back on Weight Watchers following the Points Plus Program, was a pretty good week. I lost 1lb. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking to lose more on my first official week back. I will be happy with this loss though. A loss, no matter how small is always better than a gain.

There has been a lot going on in my personal life. Really, when isn't there? I find that I'm mentally and emotionally distracted with a lot of what is going on, so that I didn't eat my way through it - can you say CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATE and more CHOCOLATE???

I started training for my second
Ottawa Half Marathon. I've logged 8 miles and am already 3 runs behind. I'm not stressing over it though. Things will figure themselves out eventually.

Velda, my dear friend, started her chemo treatments this week. I've been pretty quiet on here about all things Velda. I'm pretty quiet lately about all things Velda in all aspects of my life. I just don't really want to deal right now, so in true fashion, I just don't talk about it.

I think that is all I have to share for today.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

February Flop?

There is no try, only do. I will not say I tried to get to the gym in the month of February. If I had tried harder to make it there I would have. Apparently in the month of February, I didn't want it bad enough.

I made it to the gym 5/28 days with 2 weight training sessions. That is not a good number. It leaves a lot of room for improvement. March is a new month and a new beginning to getting myself moving; my body and the scale.

Total distance traveled in the month of February 11.36 miles. I will definitely be building on that total and I look forward to the challenge of hitting higher totals per week/month.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

New Beginning

So, no longer living in denial of the weight I have gained, I joined Weight Watcher's yesterday morning.

I didn't expect the scale to show a pretty number and as much I like being right I was hoping I would be wrong in this particular instance. No sirree. The scale read 10lbs more than when I last officially joined WW about 4.5 years ago.

I have read mixed reviews about the new program, but my first few days I really like it. It would be much easier if I actually had the calculator, but unfortunately I will have to wait until somewhere near to the end of March.

It has been a long time since I've truly felt accountable. It feels good to have some sort of structure and accountability to myself, my meeting leader and the scale. I look forward to the next couple weeks to see how and if my body will adapt to this new lifestyle. Things promise to be interesting if nothing else.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

New Little Man About Town

It has taken me quite some time to get pics up of the love of my life. Welcome to the world, my little prince, born Feb 8th, 7lbs 11oz! He shares his birthday with his Auntie Queenie (my oldest daughter).

Princess handled the rigors of labour with class and dignity.

This situation didn't start in a very positive way, but now I couldn't imagine my world without this most handsome little guy in it. He is the apple of his grandma's eye.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Books, Beach, Beer, Boy and Bling

Okay, so I didn't get back to update on the Resolution Run on New Year's day! The reason is a very good one. 3 days after I was on a plane to the Dominican. Cute Boy and I booked a week long trip with another couple to escape the rigors of everyday life. The trip was just what was needed by all. All I wanted was to be surrounded by books, beach, beer and the boy!

The weather was fabulous. The company even better. Big news came out of the Dominican! Cute Boy and I came home engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There has been some talk of marriage in the last couple months, but I was not expecting this. Not at all.

Cute Boy and I now have to go ring shopping. That should be fun because we are no where near close on a price point.

I am so happy I can't even tell you.

Bring on the divorce from the first marriage and let the planning and fun begin.