February Flop?

There is no try, only do. I will not say I tried to get to the gym in the month of February. If I had tried harder to make it there I would have. Apparently in the month of February, I didn't want it bad enough.

I made it to the gym 5/28 days with 2 weight training sessions. That is not a good number. It leaves a lot of room for improvement. March is a new month and a new beginning to getting myself moving; my body and the scale.

Total distance traveled in the month of February 11.36 miles. I will definitely be building on that total and I look forward to the challenge of hitting higher totals per week/month.

I've been working at getting to the gym on a regular basis. I am happy with how much I've been able to get there considering all things that have been going on lately. I think the gym has somewhat been my mental saving grace.

Thus far, I haven't really had much of a plan of attack. I've just been doing whatever I feel like doing. I decided today to change things up a bit. I decided to focus on specific body muscles. So, today was back and legs. The legs work out could have and should have been better.

Back
Seated Rows
45lbs - 10 reps
45lbs - 10 reps
50lbs - 8 reps

Lat Pulldown
40lbs - 8 reps
45lbs - 10 reps
50lbs - 10 reps

Close Grip Seated Row
27.5K - 10 reps
27.5K - 10 reps
27.5K - 8 reps

Legs
Leg Press
70lbs - 10 reps
70lbs - 10 reps
75lbs - 12 reps

Hip Adduction
80lbs - 12 reps
85lbs - 10 reps
90lbs - 12 reps

Single Leg Glutes
60lbs - 10 reps
60lbs - 10 reps
60lbs - 10 reps

I think tomorrow I will work triceps and shoulders. I love working shoulders.

Decisions, Deals and Dollars

My eldest daughter has joined the gym. I may or may not have mentioned that in a previous post. I am so incredibly proud of her. I was talking to her last night about her gym going and the Yoga class she just finished. Queenie in a Yoga class - WOW!

So, not only has my beautiful daughter joined the gym, but she'd joined GoodLife. Oh, how I love GoodLife. I've had some of my most wonderful intense and successful workouts at GoodLife. After a time of cheating on GoodLife and joining Premiere, I would live without working out if Premiere were the only gym in town. It was one of the worst financial decisions I ever made. When I say that, it really means something because I've made a lot of financial mistakes in my times. Still do actually. That is what I'm weighing in my head right now, the possibility of making another financial mistake.

Queenie is able to get me a membership by signing up through her for $22.00 per month. That is insane! I pay more than that for a corporate rate offered at work. I just don't know if I would make it worth my while financially. I know I want to weight train, but would I use it enough to make it worthwhile? Am I just wanting it because I'm running more in preparation of the 1/2 marathon?

I want the arms I used to have. I want the shoulders I used to love see lift things and show wicked beautiful definition. I want the slimmer middle that was brought on by the weights I lifted and lifted with great intensity. Are all these wants enough to pay for themselves in $22.00 per month? In my head - yes. In reality - I just don't know.

My My My Month of May

I just finished a 3.4K run on the treadmill. Oh how I love my treadmill! I know I keep going on and on about it. It feels like when you're the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. All moon-y eyes and sweet thoughts. It won't always be like this I'm sure.

I hit the wall today! That's okay with me though. Not every day is going to be amazing and the best day ever on my quest to a healthier me. I'm just happy right now to be using the treadmill to further my physical fitness, especially in light of my tender ankle.

The number cruncher in my has a couple things to share.

Work out days - 5/31
Distance run - 17.7K

By normal standards they are not good numbers. Again, I'm okay with that. May was the most successful month since January. You know how January is with resolutions and new beginnings. May is my new beginning month.

On that note, I'm off to make myself something for breakfast. I've been up for 2 hours and have yet to eat. Very unlike me, but I wanted to get my work out in first and now, other than baseball tonight, I'm done for the day. I feel very accomplished.

Workout Room Peek

Pretty standard as universals go, but to me it looks like a million bucks. I'm so stoked to get going on this new adventure of mine.

Cute Boy had mentioned trying to find the time to set this up in the new house. I had no idea he was going to be doing it this week. I get an e-mail at work today that it was done and I just about screamed. I know for certain I clapped my hands. I know. I'm a loser! It's what you love about me, right?

I have Oxygen magazines now to pour over looking for work out programs and individual exercises. That is going to be fun. I'm going to attempt to follow my success pattern from before which was a 10 min easy run on the treadmill to warm up my muscles and the heart rate up a wee bit. Weight train followed by a 30-45 minute interval run to finish off the work out.

I'm off to work out in my very own house in my own basement and I'm over the moon. I'll be just over there <---- see me. I'm working out..... right there <----

Friday Night Freak Show

Today is weigh in day. Not for me. I'm not feeling it today. I chose not to torture myself this morning. I ALWAYS weigh in, but not today. I'm going to restart my WW plan (as I do every Friday). I've got my water in already and my food choices so far have been good. Could have done without the chai tea latte points and moneywise. What the hell. It made me smile. Good enough reason as any to splurge.

I'm home from work and that is amazing why? It is because I'm home early. I work some of the most amazing women ever and I was sent home early to get a jump on my weekend. I'm home with the dog and only the dog. Cute Boy and Princess are at work. I have to pick Princess up at midnight, so from here on out these are my plans for the rest of the evening:

• Weight train and elliptical (already in my work out clothes)
• Make turkey sausages and grilled mushrooms for dinner
• Mix a Raspberry Rum with Cherry Pomegranate Crystal Light
• Water the grass if it doesn't rain first -- we have grass finally! It's pur-dy!
• Read my book - lovin' it.
• Watch last night's Grey's episode

I think that is it for tonight.

I want to say I have nothing planned for the weekend. I don't. I just don't know about Cute Boy and what he may have planned. We've been opposite shifts this week, so our communication has been about day to day things, done via e-mail. How did relationships survive before the invention of computers and e-mail?

Cute Boy is off until Tuesday and so am I. I'm don't care what we do, just doing it together is going to be the best part of this week. It has been a long one and I'm looking forward to some me/us time.

Itty Bitty Sick Work out

I did an itty bitty work out this morning.

I did a work out from Oxygen magazine. It was a challenge considering my lack of energy, but I'm glad I at least attempted something to help feel better and to pull myself out of this funk.

I did 2 sets of the following:
Dumbbell squats
Push Ups - 5 push ups 2x - will work towards 6
Bent Over Rows
Shoulder Press - the book shows these on a ball, but my ball is too small
Hammer Curls

I just did a small cardio session 15 minutes for 3.27K on the elliptical.

TMI moment coming up. Quit reading if you like. The cardio did wonders for my stuffy head and sinus pain. Maybe I should have been doing some cardio while I was home sick the last couple days. Bleh! Not possible!

I Ask Myself Why

Preamble - This is a full on rant and you're more than welcome to back up and leave. I understand! I'm just using this blog for it's original purpose, to get it out of my head.

There is nothing like a little anger, or huge amounts of anger for that matter to spur on a killer work out. Okay, maybe not killer to some standards, but for me - killer. My arms are already telling me a thing or two! I love it.

My work out consisted of 30 min. on the elliptical with a final distance of 7.4K. WOOHOO!! Do you know how therapeutic it is to work out in the dark? Maybe not so therapeutic when there are tears screaming down your face. A girl has to do what a girl has to do though. I also lifted the following:

Standing Dumbbell Curls
W-10lbs
R - 12
S - 3

Shoulder Raises
W - 10lbs
R - 12
S - 3

Single Arm Hammer Curls
W - 10lbs
R - 12
S - 2

That was all I could think of to do off the top of my head. Limited resources and limited imagination. It was something though and in spite all the swirling head crap and personal crap, I'm glad for what I did do!

I'm so sick and tired of this emotional roller coaster of my life. One day is incredible and then another day is a nightmare. I can't take it! I'm tired of the constant struggle with what is coming next. I loved my life this morning and tonight I don't know what to think. My defences are up, my heart is shaken and my confidence in question. I'm not used to that feeling anymore. A meltdown with cursing and screaming took place and in the presence of another person's child no less! Not cool at all. I think that might be the source of 99.9% of my anger, that another person's child would have to be witness to this garbage. I can't even put to words my disgust!

Tomorrow will be a better day because it sure as hell can't get worse than the end of this one.

Sweet dreams to you and enjoy Biggest Loser. I won't be watching tonight's episode (another rant for another day - maybe).

Super Bowl Super Women Super Feeling

Do you have those mornings that you wake up and feel incredible? Not sure of the why of it, but you just feel on 'your game'. That is how I feel this morning. I slept like garbage last night, which is a new thing for me after my recent bout of sleeplessness, so this feeling is extremely unexpected, but no less enjoyed.

The time on the clock was ugly and I would have loved to spend more time between the sheets, but life being what life is, I was up and at 'em. A good cup of coffee and a few minutes catching a couple blog entries and then it was time to get down to the business of getting ready for work.

Last night was spent with 3 awesome women for a girl's Super Bowl party. It was such a blast. Krista, in true Krista fashion, is an incredible host. There was more food there than any human being should ever have the choice to eat in one sitting. Miss Mary and Deb (ting ting ting ting ting ting ting) were also in attendance. My abs are still aching a wee bit from the laughter as well as my stomach being stretched to the max from the foods I shouldn't have eaten, but enjoyed.

I think part of my mood this morning has to do with knowing I have that damn elliptical in the basement. I'm looking forward to giving it a work out tonight. When unpacking things yesterday I found the free weights. There aren't many, but I really don't need many. The weight bench is also in the house from the garage too. I will have Cute Boy help me get things situated down there and then I'm on way to a small home gym. No more excuses! I will still hit the gym when my work and life commitments allow, but knowing I have access to the equipment in the basement does my mental state good! It doesn't take much to impress me. :)

I can feel my shoulders and arms today. That is pathetic and an indicator as to how far I've let myself go physically. That I'm feeling pain today from 21 minutes on the elliptical is sad, so very sad. Why is it then, that I laugh or smile every time I feel the pain? That would be because I'm changing and committing to being more fit and healthier! I love it!

The day just got better, as I type this Keith Urban is playing on my radio. Life couldn't get any better than this minute right here, right now!

Have an awesome happy healthy day!

I Did It!

I just polished off 21 minutes on the elliptical. I wasn't alone though. I had some help from some incredible friends.

Keith Urban
Nickleback
Theory of A Deadman (Tyler Connolly) - oh swoon
Anna Nalick
Sugarland
Kid Rock
And.... you!

I was belting out the tunes and on key (ya right!). It felt great. I feel great.

I said I wanted to do 20 minutes and I did 21 minutes! I will push tomorrow to do 22 minutes. That's how I roll, very much like the Jerry Lewis Telethon. $1.00 more than last year, well, I'm one more than yesterday.

Thank you for being here and giving me another chance. I will falter in being accountable to myself for the first little bit and I've failed in being accountable to you and my team. No more! I will use you as my inspiration and drive until I'm well on my way to using myself.

Ya me!

Garbly Goop and the Next Step

Let me start by saying this - WI STS this week. 133.6 for another week. It could have been worse, I could have gained.

I've been asked in response to a few previous entries, how much I want to lose and how tall I am. So here we go:

• Height - 5' 2"
• Goal Weight - 125-123

In another life (ugly and emotionally charged) I got down to 119/120lbs. I got to 123 in a healthy manner by eating properly and hitting the gym for intense cardio/weight training workouts 6 days per week. At times I would be at the gym 2x in one day depending on the other half's work schedule. The last push of weight loss from 123-119/120, was not eating properly at all.... coffee, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (1 per day) and cherry filled chocolate. It was unhealthy food I was eating and coupled with the small amounts, I dropped weight and I looked nasty thin.

Fast forward to now - 3.5 years later and I'm back up to 133.6 and fighting mentally with working out and getting healthier. Every day I wake up, I say this is the day I am going to make the changes to get back to where I was. I start off well and then I lose it somewhere along the way. I either don't got to the gym or I eat crap.

Yesterday, I had a moment when thinking about my life, my busy schedule, the house and all the commitments I make a priority for everyone else and not for myself. I am going to set up a work out station at home and I'm going to do my level best to encourage and help Princess as well.

Cute Boy owns the following equipment pieces:

• A universal
• Flat/Incline bench
• Free Weights
• Elliptical
• Ball

That is more than enough to build a small home gym and that is what I'm going to do. The universal will be a bit before it's put together and I'm okay with that. I'm knowledgeable enough with the free weights and I'm confident enough to put something together, especially when partnered with Oxygen magazine. I talked with Princess about whether or not she'd like to participate and she said she's interested.

Princess has been asking me for a gym membership and I just can't swing it for her right now. Money isn't the issue it's the time constraints of getting her there. I can barely get myself there, so adding her to that mix would be near to murderously difficult. She hasn't said it to me, but I know she's concerned about this upcoming summer because she is an attendant in a wedding (maybe). Not maybe is she an attendant, but maybe there will be a wedding. LOL

So, Team Lean this is where you come in! I need an ass kickin'. I have absolutely no excuse for not doing something. The elliptical is already in the house and has been since the 2nd day here. It is now time for me to shake off the cobwebs and put the damn thing to use! The other tools I need are a little more difficult, but I can do something and I will! If I falter, pick me up and push me on my way. Hold my hand if you will, encourage and demand I do better next time. The competitive and driven side of my personality has gotten complacent and I'm tired of it and tired of me! I'm countin' on ya Team. I've let you down with not helping in putting up good numbers and I want to be successful for me and for you!

I'm off to get some things done around the house and to get on the elliptical this morning. Minimum effort is 20 minutes. In my current state, anything more than that is gravy!

Love ya!

Wee Weights and Chatter

Damn it the days are going to fast and I can't get it all done.

I did hit the gym today though. It was painful, not the work so much but the crowded surroundings. I hit the women's gym today rather than the co-ed thinking it might not be as busy. Boy, was I wrong.

The work out was quick, but I can feel it as I type this right now. I did a quick shoulder weight train and then I threw in a standing bar curl to work my biceps. I used to have the most incredible definition in my biceps and I want that back. The only way to get it back is to work it, so I'm trying to do just that!

The cardio work out left a little to be desired considering I couldn't get myself on a treadmill to save my life. I hit the stairclimber and logged 2K. I could feel it in my arse. An arse kicking is what I need, so in a round about way I got one.

The gym I work out at right now is above a grocery store (Loblaws) and since I didn't have much for dinner I popped in for a quick addition to my dinner tonight. I got a can of Pea Soup and some bars. I bought a Rebar (yuck), Larabar and a Salba bar. Healthy eats to follow up a lackluster work out! It should be more than enough to hold me over while I work tonight. 2am can not come soon enough for me!

I do have a NSV to share. I wanted Starbucks sooooo bad on my way in to work today, but since I'd just gained 3 activity points, I didn't want to spend them on a drink. Very good girl of me, eh! I'm now sipping away on a bottle water and imagining it to be a Starbucks!

That's about all I have right now in regards to working out and eating. Lots going on with the house, but is for another post. I may get around to that later tonight once work slows down and I'm by myself.

Happy eats and work out success to you!

Sleepy Cardio Kid

I'm finding a bit of a cardio groove!

I went to the gym again and I'm starting to feel more comfortable and not as though I'm just going through the paces. I'm very proud of myself and that being said, is something I don't say very often. I'm not looking for pats and kudos. Simple observation.

Last night was a crappy night between the sheets. I suffer something awful from really poor sleep habits after the first 4 hours and last night was brutal. I could have easily got out of bed at 3-30am. I now have in my hands, a little nugget of gold - a sleeping pill. A girl from work gave me one of hers to see if it helps me before I invest in a pack of my own. Sleeping pills is not something I'm excited about taking, but a girl can only survive so long in a zombie like state.

All this sleep chatter does have purpose. I was unsure of what kind of work out I was going to achieve dragging ass like I was. I told K-Pow today that I was still hitting the gym, no excuses. I'm so glad I persevered and didn't let exhaustion keep me from my work out.

I ran for a distance of 4.34KM and that was not a hard pushed work out. I did it, but didn't push myself to my limits. I do have another "I love it moment" - my elbows were sweating!!!!!! I love when my elbows have sweat on them. I feel incredible when I have the sheen of perspiration. Does that make me odd? I mean, any odder than I already am?

One of my BLBE team mates, Mary Beth asked a question - Yes, I am a big reader. I love it and struggle between finding time for all the hobbies I have, reading, cross stitching and now returning to the gym.

Thanks to all my BLBE teammates and non-teammates, Bre (love you) that stop by and leave comments. Even from the non teammates challenging to kick my ass. I live for the challenge and my desire to push forward is huge.

Feeling Funky and a Fabulous Friend!

It is amazing the difference in perspective from this morning to the afternoon.

My day has vastly improved since my post earlier in the day. It could have much to do with Velda! I've never met a more amazing person in my life and to have the honour to call her friend is really my blessing. I have to say I didn't cry and that in itself is amazing. Our time wasn't as full of as much laughter as some visits, but I walked away from my impromptu visit with a full belly of coke, chocolate and french onion soup along with a new perspective.

I love the freedom I have within this friendship. I'm far from perfect, as much as I may lead you to believe otherwise. I'm free to share my faults and imperfections without judgement and in turn I walk away with a greater sense of myself. The scope of conversation covers most everything and anything.

I didn't realize Velda was posting on her blog about me coming over. That would be my first mistake! Knowing Velda as I do, how did I know see this coming??? In that, I would like to thank each of you that posted to Velda's blog sending me hugs. I got them too, because I was still there when she was reading her comments.

After leaving Velda's today I headed to the gym. What an experience that was! Not an especially good one either. The good thing is I ran intervals for about a half hour and gained 2 AP. WOOHOO!!

The not-so-good part of the gym today was that a high school gym class was there. I'm all for young people working out, I really am, but a gym filled with giggling, screaming teenage girls is not conducive to a good work out. I have a couple teenagers of my own, so I know all about this that and the next thing with teenage girls. They were going on about hot guys weight training. This men would be old enough to be your father for goodness sakes. Imagine the nightmare of trying to get ready for work with these kids milling around. No fun! No thanks!

I have a major rant about my gym. This place is starting to drive me nuts. I know they have financial issues. It's not a big secret around town that the gym is struggling to make payments to their creditors.

My last 2 visits to the gym have presented me with no paper cleaning products. That is disgusting at any time, but this time of year... oh gross! Today there was one hair dryer that worked and it was a hot commodity with all those mini princesses preening pretty. The shower that didn't work yesterday was fixed today. I just don't understand the financial issues here. I feel very taken when at this gym. It has some great features and then when I'm faced with stuff like I mentioned, I get so annoyed. Do I really care there is little flowers sitting in a dish beside the sinks? No, I don't. I care about being able to wipe down my machine after sweating like a mad woman all over it. I want to go to the gym to become healthier not pick up some fugal infection! I shall now step down from my soap box! :)

Thank you to each and everyone of you that posted a kind comment in response to my earlier post, as well as the kind comments on Velda's. A little kindness goes a long way.

What Is A Workout?

A workout is 25% perspiration and 75% determination. Stated another way, it is one part physical exertion and three parts self-discipline. Doing it is easy once you get started.

A workout makes you better today than you were yesterday. It strengths the body, relaxes the mind, and toughens the spirit. When you work out regularly, your problems diminish and your confidence grows.

A workout is a personal triumph over laziness and procrastinations. It is the badge of a winner the mark of an organized person who has taken charge of his, or her destiny.

A workout is a wise use of time and an investment in excellence. It is a way of preparing for life's challenges and proving to yourself that you have what it takes to do what is necessary.

A workout is a key that helps unlock the door to opportunity and success. Hidden within each of us is an extraordinary force. Physical and mental fitness are the triggfer that can release it.

A workout is a form of rebirth. When you finish a good workout, you don't simply feel better, you feel better about yourself.

I went to the gym this morning at the gross ugly hour of 5:30. I'm sorry there is no other way for me to describe that hour! I slept well last night, if you can call sleeping well and waking every hour sleeping. I woke up energized and full of life. Very much in a bad mood but eager to hit the gym, I was.

Krista and I hit the mats to work our abs and then the weights. I did a bit of cardio (4KM). I was in a very bad mood as I've already stated and whether or not I get in to why, I'm still undecided. I was hoping the work out would help ease the mood and it did in some small way. That was until I headed to work, but more of that later.

I talked with Krista about setting up a weight training schedule and in her true enthusiastic way, was on board without a moments hesitation! I have a date with her every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 5:30am. I'm really looking forward to this, as I know she is.

The timing of finding this document "What Is A Workout?" was perfect. This is going to be a new day for me. I want to do things a bit differently than I've been doing lately, and one of those things is making a committed effort to better myself mentally, emotionally and physically.