My My My Month of May

I just finished a 3.4K run on the treadmill. Oh how I love my treadmill! I know I keep going on and on about it. It feels like when you're the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. All moon-y eyes and sweet thoughts. It won't always be like this I'm sure.

I hit the wall today! That's okay with me though. Not every day is going to be amazing and the best day ever on my quest to a healthier me. I'm just happy right now to be using the treadmill to further my physical fitness, especially in light of my tender ankle.

The number cruncher in my has a couple things to share.

Work out days - 5/31
Distance run - 17.7K

By normal standards they are not good numbers. Again, I'm okay with that. May was the most successful month since January. You know how January is with resolutions and new beginnings. May is my new beginning month.

On that note, I'm off to make myself something for breakfast. I've been up for 2 hours and have yet to eat. Very unlike me, but I wanted to get my work out in first and now, other than baseball tonight, I'm done for the day. I feel very accomplished.

Workout Room Peek

Pretty standard as universals go, but to me it looks like a million bucks. I'm so stoked to get going on this new adventure of mine.

Cute Boy had mentioned trying to find the time to set this up in the new house. I had no idea he was going to be doing it this week. I get an e-mail at work today that it was done and I just about screamed. I know for certain I clapped my hands. I know. I'm a loser! It's what you love about me, right?

I have Oxygen magazines now to pour over looking for work out programs and individual exercises. That is going to be fun. I'm going to attempt to follow my success pattern from before which was a 10 min easy run on the treadmill to warm up my muscles and the heart rate up a wee bit. Weight train followed by a 30-45 minute interval run to finish off the work out.

I'm off to work out in my very own house in my own basement and I'm over the moon. I'll be just over there <---- see me. I'm working out..... right there <----

One of Those Days

My WI this morning has me at 137.4lbs which is a gain of .2lbs. There was a point in the past week that I was creeping up on 139, so I'm happy with where I am.

The past week saw me weighing in every day, for about 4 days. I couldn't continue on that crazy train very long. It was driving my nuts, as much as I love tracking numbers I couldn't tell my ass from up those days. Let that be another lesson learned for me this week. For those of you out there that do this (you know who you are), I don't know how you do it! :)

Update on the ankle this morning shows it still iffy. It's not all the time painful, just sometimes which is more annoying than not. I have some resumes to drop off tonight after work, but when all of that is finished, I'm going to attempt a run on the treadmill. I'm not expecting much, but I have to at least try to move the scale downward and my fitness level forward.

I'm off to get ready for work.

Have a great one!

Job Hunt Begins

I've been talking and talking and talking about the need for a second job. I really do need to get serious about this new and not so exciting chapter in my life. There are a few people that question my ability to do this 2 job thing as well as those that think it's unnecessary. It is going to be difficult, I'll give you that. I need to look at it as a 1.5 - 2 year situation. It's not forever. It will only feel that way for about 1.5 - 2 years.

The length of time I have to work 2 jobs is dependent upon the type of job I get and of course, the amount of hours offered and my availability for those hours. I will have to be conscientious of my spending and the cost of things, obviously to get out of debt, if I'm ever going to be successful. There will be times that I'm spending money on cabs for Princess to get back and forth to work, but that will not be all the time.

So far, I've applied at the following:

• No Frills (grocery store)
• LCBO (liquor store)
• Walmart (will drop resume off tomorrow)
• PetSmart (have to attach resume from work tomorrow)

I will be stopping by Costco tomorrow on my way home from work. So, as of tomorrow I will have 5 resumes in circulation.

The best case scenario for pay would be Costco and LCBO. The other jobs are not the best paying jobs, although right now they would bring money in and bring down the debt and give me some breathing room. For fun, I would love PetSmart.

I shouldn't be putting cart in front of horse, but the allotment of monies would be as much to debt as I can while trying to contribute around the house more than I'm able right now. I feel bad that money is so tight for me that I can't contribute much. I hate the guilty feeling all the time. My guilt and no one else's.

Being an adult and an adult that played more than paid sucks big time! I'm paying now though. :)

Sugar Daddy - Lisa Kleypas

Liberty Jones fell in love with Hardy Cates when she was fourteen and three quarters and he was seventeen. However, Hardy wasn't going to let even love stand in the way of his ambition to escape the poverty of his childhood. He had left town - and Liberty broken hearted. But Liberty is also a survivor - and determined to make a better life for herself and her baby sister. Moving to the big city, she finds a job and an unlikely friend in billionaire tycoon Churchill Travis. But though Churchill's son is convinced she's nothing but a gold digger looking for a Sugar Daddy, their relationship goes deeper than most people think. But just as Liberty and her sister begin to feel settled in their new life, Hardy comes back into their lives...

~~~~~~~~~~
Book #15 - I didn't read the cover, which I very seldom do anymore. This one was no exception and was I ever surprised. I expected this book to be all harlequin-y romance-ish and it wasn't at all. It was a little bit lovey, but not over the top. I really enjoyed this book. Really. I have the next on reserve at the library. I have to hit the library after work tomorrow to get it.

Damn It

Had a ball game last night and what do I do, but hurt myself.

I was running out a throw to first base and I stretched to beat the throw and came down extremely hard on my left ankle. I continued to play throughout the game with pain and discomfort.

I wake up this morning and can hardly put any weight pressure on my foot. I'm so sad. I'm all excited to have a treadmill and the thoughts of using it tonight brings tears of pain and frustration to my eyes.

Damn it! The timing sucks. I don't need this right now. I want to be moving in the right direction with my fitness and my weight, not hobbling around like an ass.

I'm going to struggle my way to work and hope this pain subsides. If the pain remains I may just be paging a cute little ortho resident to come have a look at my lovely non-summer-ready-feet. :)

Have a great day! I'm going to try and not let this put a damper on my outlook.

Look What Moved In

Check out this bad boy! Cute Boy and I just bought this on the weekend. I'm soooo excited. The area you see around the treadmill is in the works, down the road, to becoming a home work out gym. Time is at a premium right now with all things Cute Boy has on the go, so until he has time this is what it looks like. I worry not, the time will come that we are rocking out the home gym.

Cute Boy and a couple friends picked it up on Sunday afternoon. I was told if we ever sell the house the treadmill comes with. It is incredibly heavy. I didn't help with the moving of my new love, so I can't say either way how heavy it is or not. Just kidding. I know it's heavy since I moved it about 6 feet and I had to kitty cat step it in place to where it sits now. I think the boys were being wimps though since there was 3 of them and just little ol' me. MWAH!

I got home from work yesterday and within minutes I was in my work out clothes and pushing this beast to the closest outlet to get my first mini run underway. I logged a 3K run in 25 minutes. I didn't push any pace, just got the feel of the machine, which is incredible by the way. It felt incredible and in turn I felt even better.

I know I'm more of a treadmill runner than I street runner, so to have access 24/7 to this is like a dream come true for me. I can now get to the business of shedding my winter coat just in time for another winter. LOL.

I hope ya'll don't get bored with my walking/running distance updates because there is going to be a lot of them.

Priceless

5am alarm playing Keith Urban +

5am snuggles with Cute Boy +

Sun shining today +

Song playing on my way in to work this morning that is a great testament to how I feel about Cute Boy +

Awesome weekend memories +

The prospect of a run on my very own treadmill tonight =

Priceless

Working My Way Back

I weighed in today with a .6lb loss. Nothing to be upset about in that considering the kind of week I had.

Things are changing all around me. I have the most exciting news. I just bought a treadmill. Cute Boy is trying to arrange for pick up tonight. I'm so excited that even the thoughts of it is bringing tears to my eyes.

I want this so much for me and equally as much for Princess. She has shown some interest in using the treadmill and it's doing a Momma's heart good to think of. My little Princess breaking a sweat on a treadmill. WOOHOOO!!

The other change is, I want to add in calorie counting to my weight loss plan. I'm still going to be doing my WW points, but I want to add in the calorie counting too. I've never been disciplined enough to do a calorie in calorie out, other than on Sparkpeople. I'm thinking this might help some in the overall battle of my bulge.

I'm off now to get some stuff done around the house and fit in a weight lifting plan before leaving for work.

Have a great day. From the bottom of my heart, for the few comments I get right now, thank you! You are a select few, but your support is enough to lift a person from the fear of failure to the drive for success.

Summer Sunny Smell

There are good things to report today.

• Yesterday I drank all my waters plus some.
• I ate within in my flex points yesterday.
• I feel much better mentally. Not so much physically, but that will come.

Today is a better day than most. I had a great night's sleep last night which always helps. I only ended up on the couch at 6:30am and that was because I was hot and couldn't get back to sleep. I ended up hitting the couch so as not to wake Cute Boy.

The most wonderful thing happened today. I put Daisy dink outside many times this morning. She loves the sun and frolicking in the back yard on the wee bit of grass we now have laid. When I was leaving for work, I gave her a kiss and snuggle good bye and she smelled like warm summer sun. It was the most wonderful smell and feeling in the world at that moment.

Life is good!

The Mirror Doesn't Lie

There are so many times throughout my day, I think, I should blog this or that. This morning I sit in front of this computer screen with thoughts screaming inside my head and I'm at a loss at properly forming them. It's nuts, really.

My previous post, on Friday night, had me saying to hell with weighing in and all that.... not smart and I knew it at the time. I just didn't want to be faced with my poor food choices and lack of activity showing up on the scale. I'm so disgusted with myself, I feel as though I'm going to have a crying meltdown right here and now. I went to bed last night with the commitment of weighing in this morning firmly planted in my head! Weighed in and the crying feeling is still hovering overhead. I feel every bit as heavy as the 137.8lb indicated on the scale. This is my highest weight in 2.5 years. This is pretty much what I weighed when I first started dating Cute Boy.

Part of my resolution to weigh in this morning is that I saw myself, sideways in a store front mirror yesterday. I thought I looked pretty good when I left the house or I would never have considered leaving the house wearing what I had on. When I caught a glimpse of myself in that mirror, it caused a mental gasp! I not kidding anyone. I look like shit and look like I have the beginning of a baby belly. I'm well past my baby birthing years! Trust me on that one.

I pulled an emotional meltdown when I got home from said shopping trip. I ate and ate and ate. If I was going to look pregnant, I was going to eat like I was then too. This emotional eating may have seen the insertion of the following foods in to my pie hole:

• those pink wafer cookies that are dirt cheap and all waxy tasting - too many to count
• turkey pepperette
• 100 calorie ice cream sandwich
• grapes by the handful
• a sensible dinner - pork chop, green beans and brown whole wheat rice

Then hungry monster again

• potato chips
• full fat root beer (the box is finally empty)

The above food is from about 4pm to 10pm. This in no way comes close to the food consumed when on the shopping trip to the states, that did include a Corona light with lunch, a stop at Tim Horton's that wasn't just for tea, but a french vanilla cappuccino and donut and a Starbucks stop on the way home from the states. I ate enough food for a family of 4 in one single day. Gross!

I started this year weighing in at 135.8 to my lowest of the year 129.8 to my highest this week of 137.8. Why do I torture myself like I do? I know how to eat better than I do, I just don't do it like I should. What the hell is wrong with me? Seriously? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I'm tired of fighting with this same 10-20lbs.

On this note, I am probably going to refrain from posting many WI results or weight thought filled posts. My mental state is too negative and that isn't fair to the few readers I do have, so in light of that.... this will be a stitching (imagine that!), reading, and life blog for a bit. I just am so disappointed in myself and who needs a negative nelly all up in your face with her thoughts!

MWAH!

8th Confession - James Patterson

When a preacher with a message of hope for the homeless is found brutally executed, reporter Cindy Thomas knows the story could be huge. Probing deeper into the victim's history, she discovers he may not have been as saintly as everyone thought...

Rich, beautiful, and powerful, Isa and Ethan Bailey were living in the spotlight as San Francisco's perfect couple--until they are found dead in their luxurious home. As the hunt for two criminals tests the skills of the entire Women's Murder Club, sparks begin to fly between Detective Lindsay Boxer and her partner, Rich Conklin, making it difficult to stay focused on the case.

The electrifying new chapter in the Women's Murder Club series, THE 8TH CONFESSION serves up the mile-a-minute twists that only James Patterson can deliver.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Book #14 - Took me longer than expected to get in to this one, but once I was hooked, in true, James Patterson fashion, there was no looking back.

Friday Night Freak Show

Today is weigh in day. Not for me. I'm not feeling it today. I chose not to torture myself this morning. I ALWAYS weigh in, but not today. I'm going to restart my WW plan (as I do every Friday). I've got my water in already and my food choices so far have been good. Could have done without the chai tea latte points and moneywise. What the hell. It made me smile. Good enough reason as any to splurge.

I'm home from work and that is amazing why? It is because I'm home early. I work some of the most amazing women ever and I was sent home early to get a jump on my weekend. I'm home with the dog and only the dog. Cute Boy and Princess are at work. I have to pick Princess up at midnight, so from here on out these are my plans for the rest of the evening:

• Weight train and elliptical (already in my work out clothes)
• Make turkey sausages and grilled mushrooms for dinner
• Mix a Raspberry Rum with Cherry Pomegranate Crystal Light
• Water the grass if it doesn't rain first -- we have grass finally! It's pur-dy!
• Read my book - lovin' it.
• Watch last night's Grey's episode

I think that is it for tonight.

I want to say I have nothing planned for the weekend. I don't. I just don't know about Cute Boy and what he may have planned. We've been opposite shifts this week, so our communication has been about day to day things, done via e-mail. How did relationships survive before the invention of computers and e-mail?

Cute Boy is off until Tuesday and so am I. I'm don't care what we do, just doing it together is going to be the best part of this week. It has been a long one and I'm looking forward to some me/us time.

Smoke Screen - Sandra Brown

A sizzling tale of corruption and betrayal, revenge and reversal - where friends become foes, and criminals become heroes in the ultimate abuse of power.

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Book #13 - This was a great book! Nothing much to say other than that.

Itty Bitty Sick Work out

I did an itty bitty work out this morning.

I did a work out from Oxygen magazine. It was a challenge considering my lack of energy, but I'm glad I at least attempted something to help feel better and to pull myself out of this funk.

I did 2 sets of the following:
Dumbbell squats
Push Ups - 5 push ups 2x - will work towards 6
Bent Over Rows
Shoulder Press - the book shows these on a ball, but my ball is too small
Hammer Curls

I just did a small cardio session 15 minutes for 3.27K on the elliptical.

TMI moment coming up. Quit reading if you like. The cardio did wonders for my stuffy head and sinus pain. Maybe I should have been doing some cardio while I was home sick the last couple days. Bleh! Not possible!

UGH!

I've been sick the last couple days. I've been home from work and been in bed doing absolutely nothing other driving Princess to work if Cute Boy is unable. Wednesday and Thursday both, I slept for about 18-20 hours each day. It was insane. I'm on the mend now. I'm really not, but I'm not staying home another day.

I don't do sick well. I do needier even better - not! I want to live. I want to go to the gym. I want to move. I want to laugh. I want to feel something other than shitty.

In the last year I've been sick 4x. That is not like me. In the last year, I've been more overweight than not. I move less than ever. I've been eating worse than I've ever eaten in my life - ever! Even when I was at my highest weight. Do you see a correlation between the 2? I do.

My goal tonight while at work and things are quiet, I'm going to search for vitamins and food combinations that can boost my immune system AND look at the house schedule that will allow me to get back to the gym. 3 days a week will work for me right now.

Here's to feeling better in between the headaches, light headedness, nose blowing and sleep marathons, sore throats and runny watery eyes.

I'm off to get myself a coffee, a glass of water and a vitamin C.

Have a great day!

So Sad

I feel so bad right now. My friend is hurting and there is nothing I can do to make it better. I feel at such a loss. I can't even begin to imagine how she must be feeling.

Yesterday her life was just going along and now everything she thought was happening just stopped. Things are not turning out for her as expected. It was a shock to her. I have had an inkling that something was in the works that was going to change her expected path, but there wasn't enough time for me to prepare her. For that I feel bad. Not that anything I could say or do would or could make a difference at this point in time.

I know life isn't always fair. This particular happening doesn't make sense to me at all. It is hard to make sense of something that appears to be illogicial.

This entry is cryptic, I know. I'm sorry for that. I just need to unload this from my head. I just don't want to go in to great depth about a life that is not my own. Please think of my friend, and without knowing her, send some thoughts and hugs her way.

Thank you.

Six Seconds - Rick Mofina

A vengeful woman who aches for her place in paradise.

In Iraq an aid worker who lost her husband and child in a brutal attack saves the life of an American contractor. Believing he can help her avenge her family's deaths, she follows him back home to the United States.

An anguished mother desperate to find her child.

In California a soccer mom arrives to pick up her son from school, only to discover that her husband has taken their child and vanished without a trace.

A detective who needs to redeem himself.

In the Rocky Mountains an off-duty cop rescues a little girl from a raging river moments before she utters her final words in his arms. Haunted by failure, he launches an investigation that leads him to a Montana school where time is ticking down on an event that will rewrite history..

Three strangers entangled in a plot to change the world in only six seconds.

~~~~~~~~~~
Book #12 - This was a good one. I found the story quick and intriguing. Will definietely look for more by this author.

May Yankee Distance Challenge

April Distance - 16.5K
Remaining Distance - 51.3K

This will be my last attempt at completing this. I'm no longer goal oriented and I'm tired of torturing myself.

8 - 4.37K
25 - 3K
27 - 1.6K (boo boo ankle)
29 - 5.4K I'm lovin' it! (14.37K)
31 - 3.4K

Total for the month - 17.7K

Hard Labour

This is my efforts of pulling rocks on Sunday afternoon. I got out in the backyard with the shovel, the wheelbarrow, my work gloves while wearing my snappy brown and pink rubber boots. I was looking cute - NOT!

What you see here is about 10-12 wheelbarrow loads. Now keep in mind the wheelbarrow was never extremely full because I would have lost it in the transporting from point A to point B. This work is being done in the efforts of getting the backyard ready for a deck and pool.

It felt great to be in the yard, in the sun and working up a sweat. My hamstrings are singing a different tune this morning, but that's okay. I thought for sure I was going to be folded up like an accordian and I'm proud to report, I'm not. I think the baseball game I played last night helped alleviate some stiffness.

I'm not sure when my schedule will allow for me to get back out there. Soon, I hope though. There are still many to be pulled. Some I will be able to do on my own, and some I'll need help with. I'm open for offers.