Friday, February 19, 2010

Love Day Re-Do

An update of sorts to my Valentine's Day dismay. Cute Boy came through in a big way. I came home from work yesterday to a gift (Lady Antebellum CD) and a more Cute Boy-like card. It was a beautiful card, but even more beautiful was the handwritten note inside. It made me cry. Of course it made me cry. The best part of it was that it was so unexpected and made my heart smile.

Please understand I am not making excuse nor would I ever. I sometimes expect a lot from Cute Boy and the biggest problem with those expectations is that I don't always express them to him. I walked around and sulked wounded and then in my own way, put it behind me.

The thing is, I know Cute Boy loves me. It isn't about that, really. I think the thing that really gets me is that he doesn't show me how I've grown accustomed, which doesn't make it wrong, it just makes it different. It is naive of me to that my experiences from my other life are not influencing how I react in my now life. Cute Boy is very reserved in his displays of affection and it works. This Valentine's was just different for both of us and that DIDN'T work. I know now, by his gift and card, that it was just as difficult for him as it was for me and we chose different ways to show it. Not wrong, again, just different.

I guess, what I've learned in the last couple days is that I'm a needy girlfriend. When I look back on my behaviour, there is nothing else that fits. I'm somewhat ashamed and embarrassed of my thoughts and feelings of feeling, not to mention that I'm questioning if I've over reacted. My bad.

My life is good and I never question that. My life with Cute Boy is a typical life with ups and downs, filled with laughter, way more laughter than tears. I am truly blessed and I know I would want no life other than the one I am living, with the man I'm living it. I need to work on the issues I have within my head that when things aren't just so that they are not the end of the world. I strive for balance in my work outs/eating. I need to strive for that same balance in my relationship.

Post a Comment