Sunday, January 14, 2007

Balancing Act: Not Doing a Very Good Job Of It

Full-time. Will it ever come? I love my job and I hate my job. My job affords me a wonderful life and for that I'm thankful. I really do, for the most part, love what I do. I love the job, but hate the hours.

I spent the morning with Cute Boy and his girls. It was a fun morning... colouring hair! Hair!!! Me and hair! What a sight that was... Cute Boy's girls got to see one of the dorky sides of me... my freakish phobia of hair. It was fun to colour L's hair though since colouring hair is something I've never done on someone else ever before. I had to leave for work (grrrr), before it was dry so I didn't get to see the end result. I'm praying it turned out okay. If not, I hope L's a forgiving sort or her mother can fix her up right as rain. Leaving Cute Boy and the girls early this afternoon is just one of another reasons I'm in a slump with my job right now.

There is really nothing specific that prompts this feeling today. Nothing other than the fact that I would love nothing more than to be curled up on the couch, preferably Cute Boy's couch watching the football game today. If I could schedule my work hours around the things I want to do, I'd be a much happier girl, but who wouldn't, right?

I miss my own girls like crazy lately. I've been getting it from some about not being with them enough and I honestly don't see it that way. There are times when, yes, I'm not as available to them as I should be, but how much of my life should I not live because they don't want to come along...is it my fault others want to spend time with me while my girls would rather spend time with others and not me. I try not to hold it against them, I just don't know how to balance my life with them and find time to spend with Cute Boy. Not all things lead back to Cute Boy, but right now in this thought they do... we've been dating for 4.5 months and my girls will still not meet his daughters. It is now getting to the point where I'm getting uncomfortable with them not meeting Cute Boy's daughters. I'm sick of fighting it so I quit asking them to meet his daughters. They are the ones missing out on meeting new people and a whole lot of fun! The struggle is that I'm fearful of Cute Boy's daughters being hurt because of my daughters not being giving in meeting new people. I think both sets of girls could offer alot to the other, but my girls will not budge... GRRRRR Time is what I've given them and I'm okay with that, but this, in my opinion is bordering ridiculous.

Oh, on a more positive thought and a wee question for you... do you know how hard it is to sleep when you're smiling? And no, it's not a dirty minded question, but a true honest to goodness happening.

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