Just Call Me Crash

I'm telling you. I've done my share of stupid things, but this one takes the cake.

Cute Boy and I were at home last night just hanging out. He took the dog out on the deck. I stayed in the house to start a tea. I thought I'd join in on the deck. I took the quick way out, right through the screen door. I'm so pissed off. Cute Boy handled it well, but I still am so pissed off. I think he knew how upset I was so he didn't say much of anything that would make me feel worse. Even as I type this 12 hours later, I still want to cry.

I had things on my mind when I was heading outside (no excuse), but I was 100% distracted, obviously and the next thing I know the door is crashing in front of me and I'm screaming. I scared the shit out of myself and startled Cute Boy as he's on the deck looking in to the backyard. D'uh.

My distraction comes from the way I was feeling. Last night about 7p or so Cute Boy and I left the house to go to DQ and I felt fine. Not 3 minutes in to the car ride, I started feeling really unlike myself. I had an extremely sharp pain in my chest (middle), right at point of my cleavage. The pain was shooting through to my back and along my front from the middle of my chest to my left side, up my neck to my jaw towards my head. Cute Boy has CPR training and he was on high alert while driving. I think his calm, yet high alert demeanor was extremely startling. I was really scared as much as I wasn't saying much. I was very much internalizing my thoughts and my pain at that point. The pain I described last about 10-15 minutes the first time and then came back again, but not as intense or as long. It was very unsettling to say the least.

The thoughts of what could have caused my pain would be what was in my mind as I went head first into the screen.

So, one of Cute Boy's jobs today will be to track down our window/door installer to see if we can get a replacement screen. The major problem there is that our window guy has gone out of business, but hopefully Cute Boy will be able to track him down or figure something out. Just what I need on top of already being financially concerned and stretched to the limit, is replacing the screen door.