Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Up And At 'Em Today

I'm trying make an effort to blog more, so here is some prattling about last night and this morning.

On my way home from work yesterday I stopped in at the post office to send a registered letter to the ex-husband (really still my husband... I get a kick out of saying 'still' because he is planning nuptials for this August and we are STILL married). Stupid! Anyway, I had to give him notification of our new address, so I thought I'd play head games and send him a registered letter. The life he is currently living, for him to get a registered letter will spook him. Life above board and you'd not be paranoid about such things.

Krista and her DBF came over for a quick visit last night to drop off a contest prize that Cute Boy won - A Budweiser bar fridge. Very very cool. It was nice to catch up with the pair of them.

I almost cried when the alarm went off this morning. I went to bed much to late and with a sore throat nonetheless. Woke up with a scratching still there, but being the trooper I am, I got my large ass down to the elliptical.

I didn't leave myself enough time, so I had to cut my work out down to 12 minutes. I will do another session this evening and attempt to get a weight in my hands.

I hit the showers and got ready. I had my clothing laid out so as not to wake Cute Boy when I was getting ready for work this morning, only to have to go back in the bedroom and stand in the walk in closet trying to find something to wear that fit properly. It does not do a girl's mental state any service when pants that fit last week or the week before don't fit now! Damn it! I'm so mad at myself. If that isn't incentive enough to get back on that elliptical tonight, I don't know what is.

I think that is one of my strongest emotions in regards to where I was in comparison to where I am now. I am angry with myself. I'm disappointed that I let go to waste all my hard work. I know it isn't good to compare your body to that of another, so I try not to do it. I don't really need to, I can compare my body now to my own body just a few short years ago. I'm annoyed to no end, but only I have the ability to change where I am. I will change it to, it is just going to take time. I want success over night, but isn't going to happen and the sooner I realize that, the better off I'll be.

I feel as though this entry has taken a negative turn and that's not my intent. I'm still feeling pretty good about myself, but the clothing issue this morning played games with my head.

Thanks for reading my unload. I love this blog for the ability to get the junk out of my head. Even when I only really had one or two commenter's, this was a place to be free to clear the air with myself. It is therapeutic to get the chatter out of my head and be done with it.

Happy Healthy Days to you!

5 comments:

K-Pow said...

Okay....Now its my turn for some tough love. Payback is a biotch isn't it. I know how much you focus on what you were compared to what you are now (and I just don't mean weight wise). As a wise woman told me "Get over the pity party and move on!"---sound familar?? LOL

I think we both need to focus on the NOW as opposed to the THEN. We both have awesome DBFs, jobs, friends and family (and new homes)so what in the hell are we complaining of???

We are taking the right steps to better ourselves now and we have to realize that it won't happen overnight, but day by day we can improve and make things better!

I love you too!

Mwah! XOXO

Kristin said...

Hehehe...good for you for messing with the (soon to be) ex's head.

Focus on the fact that you are exercising and working at it now.

{{{{Hugs}}}}

Amy said...

Girl... I think you're on the right track. You definitely know what you need to do... and getting on the ellyptical, even for 12 minutes... that's progress!

Margaret said...

LOL for messing with the someday-ex's head.

And I haven't gotten over here to comment as much as I would like, but consider me one of your biggest cheerleaders!

Pumpkin said...

I think you are still being too hard on yourself. Do you have to re-read my Blog entry on self-image???? ;o) NOBODY is perfect. Perfect shouldn't even be a word in the dictionary because who out there is the one that can say what perfection is? You're doing well. You're just putting too much preasure on yourself and if you keep doing that, things will break down.