Friday, July 24, 2009

Ugly

As I expected my WI this morning was ugly.

139.6lbs ugly!

I can feel in my body that it has changed. I have changed for that matter. I didn't weigh in last week because I was in denial about the scale. I knew if I got on the scale last Friday I would have been a mess mentally. Really, I'm no better today.

I am at another all time high. I'm supposed to be participating in Amy's 15 Week Challenge. My name is on the list, but I think if I'm being completely honest here, I'm just signed up and not even going through the motions. Going through the motions, even half assed right now would at least have me moving.

I'm not going to sit here and spout on about what I could do, what I should do. I've done that before and I'm done with that ridiculous way of thinking about my body.

This is now one meal and one work out at a time. I will get on my treadmill tonight and move. If I don't run it is not the end of the world. If I walk, it is more than I did yesterday. I have to adopt this new way of thinking or I'm never going to make a change.

I am armed with the most recent issue of Oxygen magazine. Now let my journey begin. One step at a time. One meal at a time. One bottle of water at a time. Why do I feel like an addict on a 12 step program?

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