Lack of Moral Compass
This is a total rant post. To those that read (you know who you are, and I love you with all my heart), that this might offend. Please know, this is my place and I need to get it out of my head!
Princess is going to her dad's this Thursday until next Tuesday or Wednesday. She is going up for a dress fitting and some wedding preparation events. I don't want her to go and I have numerous reasons for these feelings.
I worry about her and the influences she will be subjected to when there. I know I'm not with her every day of her life or every minute of her day. I do like to think I'm a positive influence and live a life to lead her in a positive direction. I know I've never seen her father in his element, nor do I want to, but the things I've heard are not pretty. I'm not gullible enough to believe everything I've heard. Even taking a liberal approach to exaggeration of stories, I don't like the things I hear about the life lived.
She is being asked to pay the final amount owing on her bridesmaid dress ($50.00) . I have major issues with this. Both my girls are being asked to pay this amount. Queenie is also asked to pay for the remaining balance and she just doesn't have the money. She is on her own, no longer living with her dad and her hours at work just aren't enough to support these costs. Maybe I'm making issue where there need not be one, but you asked these girls to be in your wedding, I would think you'd be responsible enough and considerate of the fact that you asked for their presence you would pay what needs to be paid. Is it just me being bitchy, do you think?
This is one that really bothers me: She is attending a Jack and Jill on Saturday night and has been requested to bring a present. It is tradition with the fiancee's family that you bring a sexual gag gift (approx. $10.00 in value) and to just put money in a card. It is my belief that the money in a card is to pay for the remaining debts for the wedding. That just seems tacky to me. Again, is it just me?
I'm concerned with the thought of her being at an adult themed party. It's inappropriate and worrying. The gag gift theme is going to be a nightmare and the exposure to the likes of that nastiness is not something subjected to a 15 y.o.. What the hell is up with that?
Princess is a little apprehensive and uncomfortable buying a sexual gag gift for her dad. Do you blame her? How could you ask your 15 y.o. daughter to buy such a thing?
I am paying for Princess' train ticket to her dad's and she must be paying for the train ticket home. I can't see him paying for her since he doesn't work and is always crying financial hardship. Princess is concerned about money since her hours at work have been cut back lately.
$50.00 for dress
$35.00 train ticket home
$10.00 gag gift
$20.00 jack and jill gift
115.00 bottom line
How is it that you can ask this of your child(ren)? I'm really struggling and I want to just about lose my mind. I'm so frustrated. I'm trying to put things in perspective, but this is a tough one. It seems as though it's one thing or another with this manchild.
Factor all these things in to the picture and add to it that I will miss her terribly, makes for a sad me. A concerned me. A pissed off me. I just want to whisk her away and take all this stupidity and irresponsibility out of her life for a bit longer.
7 comments:
Can't offer advice, but can offer{{{HUGS}}}
I agree with you. Your daughter should not be asked to pay anything and, indeed, should not if they are tacky enough to ask.
And yes, a 15 year old has no place in an "adult theme" party and you should put your foot down and not allow her to go.
You are right to be upset.
Lots of {{{hugs}}} Tammy. I would be royally pissed off about all the issues you have mentioned and it would make me even angrier that I would feel backed into a corner.
(((Hugs))) sweetie. I think you have every right to be upset...I would be. I think it's wrong to expect them to pay the balance on the dresses. He asked for them to be in the wedding/they are his children...there are some things that you just do for your kids. And it is totally wrong to invite a 15 yo to an adult themed party! What in the world is he thinking??? I'm sorry you are put in this impossible situation.
Holy crap. Their dad sounds like a real loser.
This is disgusting...the paying for the dress, the gag gift (the idea makes me gag), the paying for her ride home. Does she really want to go? If not, I'd have her stay home. At the very least, I would FORBID her to go to that STUPID DISGUSTING party. What the hell is her dad thinking???? She should be nowhere near such an event.
Why is a man who has no money getting married again, in what is obviously a fairly expensive wedding with bridesmaids, parties, etc???
This whole thing is insane and sicki.e., the sexualization of our children.
Well, I guess this comment has turned out to be a rant too. In my opinion this is the kind of thing that can have long-term repercussions in a young girl's life. I think that this is a very bad idea. Can't her dad get in trouble with CPSC for having a minor at such a party?
Sorry, I'm just horrified at the whole thing. You have every right to rant, but I think you need to forbid her attendance at that party. The rest...well, all that is just plain stupid.
I can certainly see why you are concerned Tammy and you definitely have a right to be. Who let's their 15 year old daughter go to a sexual theme party anyway???? That in itself is just wrong and I can't believe they don't see this. It's only common sense. But then again, from what you've told me, your ex has none of that ;o)
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