Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My Life In A Nutshell

There is so much going on in my life right now that I find I'm scatter brained when it comes to trying to compose a blog entry. I've not been posting, but trust me it is not for lack of trying. I couldn't count the number of times I've started an entry to find myself with a mental block and hitting the delete button. Sorry!

Here goes. Now, that being said where do I begin.

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Things with the girls are interesting to say the least. I still never see Queenie. This life of hers is a major stresser for me, but I'm just letting her do her thing. Against my better judgement most days, but it's not for me to decide any longer.

Princess on the other hand had me hopping a bit ago. She had herself a major lapse in judgement (I'm being overly kind) and didn't like that I took the hard line with her. She quickly decided she wanted to visit her dad for a while. She is leaving to go to her dad's on the 28th of July until sometime towards the middle to end of August. She has since decided she regrets this rash decision of running to her dad's but it is a learning experience for her, at least I think so anyway.

I'm going to miss her like nobody's business, but I think it is going to be good for her. As much as she was overwhelmed with her situation and mad at me when she made this decision, she sees now, her best place, and most appreciated place is with me. Even when I'm mad at her, or disappointed in her, as was the case, her best place of support is to be home. There are a whole plethora of emotions she is dealing with in regards to going to her dad's and for that, I feel for her. I try to look at this situation as a character builder for her. We'll see if I'm right or not. I know she's apprehensive now, because he sees a crack in her commitment to be home and he is going to put the full court press on her to move there with him.

I'll do my best to update her situation as it unfolds. You'd think I was giving you a play by play of a daytime drama!

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Things with work are the same. The full time position that will be/should be mine was posted last Wednesday, with a closing date of tomorrow at 1:30p. It's pretty much just the dotting the i's and crossing the t's and the position will be mine. I've been working in a full time capacity for the last 3 months and with the retirement of a full time co-worker, I'll be full time next.

As much as it is a good thing after being part time now for 9 years, I'm of mixed emotions about being full time full time. It is a cut in pay, but not really. Right now I'm paid in lieu of benefits and holidays, but if I don't work I don't get paid. When I'm officially full time I'll have 4 full weeks of holidays paid. It is what you work towards and to finally realize the end is near it is somewhat draining and scary. The loss of in lieu on my pay is equivalent to about 300-400 per pay at a full time work week. I don't always work full time, but since I have been for 3 months, it is similar to a pay cut.

I really am very happy and relieved to finally be at the of my part time career, as much as it may not sound that way. It is just a mental adjustment.

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I've not been stitching at all. I miss it greatly, I really do. As much as I miss it I can not for the life of me find the desire to pick up a needle! I could have stitched so much my last week of work 6p-2am, but I just had nothing in the tank as far as drive for dragging out my stash. So very sad. I'm hoping to at least make a more concerted effort tomorrow night. I' promise to try!

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Things with the house are just! I've been selling things in my home...my sectional couch, my lawn mower, barbecue. My kitchen table is currently for sale and a few other things. It is strange to see things go, but there is no need, nor room for things to be kept at this point in the game.

Cute Boy and I are trying to find temporary accommodations for 4 months for when my house closes and our house is built. We are looking at a 2 bedroom condo this coming weekend. It will be a tight fit when Cute Boy's girls come for the weekends, but things will get figured out. The rent on this place will be considerably cheaper than we are both paying in a mortgage payment, so the extra money will be helpful in cleaning up our debt or purchasing appliances for the new house. This house building is expensive business!

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My fitness and eating are atrocious at the moment. I'm at the point where I'm starting to obsess about my weight and poor eating habits. I'm annoyed as hell at myself that I've let myself go to the point that I'm now 10lbs over my comfortable weight. I hate looking in the mirror. I feet terrible beyond anything that I've ever felt before. I'm at a loss right now about what I should do!

I'm trying to get back to my running and I will eventually. I just want to hit the street and lose myself in my thoughts and not look at running as means to an end (losing weight and leaning down), but as a way to give myself a much deserved break from the everyday demands of my life. I think that is not too much to do for myself. Now doing it is a completely other story all together.
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I think that is all I have for today! It is a long one, I know. Sorry about that. I should know better than to be away for so long next time.

Thanks for getting through it all, if you did. You rock!

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