Mental Update
I've taken a few days to be with my thoughts and try to process things. As much as I have taken the time I needed I'm no closer to a finding a better mental place. I'm feeling equally as despondent today as I was earlier in the week.
The fear still resides deep inside and the questions are screaming louder and louder. I don't want to come across as a total drama queen, but the mood is dire and the feelings are overwhelming. I'm trying to find the wonder in the little things although that is a difficult
There are heavy life altering events swirling around me that indirectly affect me. I'm trying to find the positive in these events, but if I've been challenged this would be the time! I do not want to stand in judgement, but I know myself and I know myself very well. I will struggle with this one for a very long time.
The house is progressing and I'm glad because that brings me one day closer to be finished. I am NOT having fun. The tear-filled moments of frustration far out number the moments of joy and happiness. If only I'd known...
I've been giving some thought these last few days about my life and how I live it. I worry a great deal about Princess and her health. I don't do right by her with her food decisions (vegetarian), so I've decided to try and help her eat better, I'm going to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle myself. I'm not doing it for any reason other than ease of food preparation and concern for Princess. I like meat and will miss it some times, but I want to do everything I can for her, and if giving up meat is something that may help, I will. There are many days that I will be eating without her, so I can choose meat meals then, but right now I think this is the best decision for us both. She's excited about it. That right there is payoff enough.
I know my countdown for joining Weight Watcher's is this coming Friday, but I just can not do it right now. I'm financially stretched to the limit. That small fact of life is probably not helping in the grand scheme of my deteriorating sanity. I'm trying to make healthy choices and they are paying off because the scale is going down. I had a successful food weekend at Cute Boy's sister's Thanksgiving dinner. I didn't over do it and only had 3 glasses of wine and a ceasar. That wasn't all in one sitting, but over the course of several hours. It was a good food weekend for me!
I think that's all! I'm hoping to be back to normal sooner rather than later.
Love you bunches.
6 comments:
((HUGS)) sweetie, you are in my thoughts constantly! I wish I could come give you a big ole hug!
I hope you can take one day at a time and not think too much about the future. I know it's hard to do but there are things we can't master so let's worry about the daily stuffs ;-) Hoping the vegetarian works fine !!!
By the way, you can always find the WW stuffs for free on the internet (just search for it ;-) ) then you just have to count .
((((((((((((hugs ))))))))))))))))
I hoped things would be better upon your return, I'm sorry they are not.
You need to stand your ground on those feelings about 'that issue'. I'm right there with you. I know you struggle with it a great deal and I completely understand. It's been in my head too and I just don't know how that can happen. It breaks my heart
((((hugs)))))
{{{Hugs}}}...I'm sorry you are still struggling mentally. I wish we could help but I know that isn't possible.
You continue to be in my prayers.
Let me know if I can help you with ideas for eating vegetarian. I've also done WW on a meatless diet, so maybe can be helpful there too? I'd get in a routine with shopping, cooking, eating and THEN start counting points.
HUGS.
You are going through so many life changes right now girl so it's no wonder that your emotions are so up and down. I have had strength given to me this past year, otherwise I would be a mess at this point in my life too. I see this as an adventure and maybe someday you will look at it that way too. I've never heard anyone say that building a house is fun but keep your eye on the big picture :o)
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