Weight Watcher's Countdown

I've decided I'm going to join Weight Watchers again. I'm not joining right away which is the reason for the countdown.

I'm going to join the weekend after the Canadian Thanksgiving. I'll be joining October 18th - Saturday. I'm off weekends now, so I'm going to commit to Saturday morning meetings.

The reason I'm not joining until after Thanksgiving is because of Thanksgiving dinner at Cute Boy's sister's house. This woman is one of the most generous hosts and incredible cooks to ever cross my path. I know my strengths and weaknesses. There is no way I could be on plan with her palate temptations in my sight and much worse, grasp.

I've been thinking a lot the last couple days and I think this is something I need and money I need to spend. I think my biggest concern is spending the money and not being diligent in following the plan. Couple that with no gym membership, I'm apprehensive. I know I can do this without the paid-for weigh in. I've done it before, but right now, my head isn't focused enough to do this without the assistance of the WW staff.

I'm in no way giving myself card blanche to eat whatever I want until October 18th. I am still going to be conscientious when eating. It is who I am, for the most part, I'm just really struggling right now.

D-day is a long way off still, longer than I even imagined. I was shocked at just how long off when I counted down, but I feel a sense of peace already. WW is my comfort zone. WW is my security blanket. WW is my friend. WW is my opportunity for change. I'm excited!

36 days and counting.

Awww, The Vision of Tranquility

I took this picture on my way to work the other day. This picture is pretty, minus the hydro wires, but doesn't really even touch the true beauty.

This is where I want to be, what I want to feel, how I want to live. I'm far from that, but it's okay to dream, right? It will a while before I'll feel this sense of peace I sense in this picture. I'll get there one day and until I do, I'll come back to this picture for a mental pick up.

Tribute to Turtles and Me

Taking their home with them wherever they go, Turtles remind us to remember our roots while still welcoming new places and phases in life.
They teach us to appreciate life's simple, true necessities; shelter, food, drink and most importantly, faith.
The Turtle's slow gait requires the animal to have faith that it will eventually get where it is going and that the needs will be satisfied along the way. ~ From ancient American Indian Philosophy

I like the idea behind this and for the most part, think it very much represents who I am and things that are important to me.

The turtle I used to be and the turtle I am now are very different, although I must say they are both represented in the person I am today. Turtling is what I used to do when in tremendous pain and heartache and I was dubbed with a 'TT' nickname, that I now love. It has been quite the journey for me from the turtle of yesterday to the turtle of today and one I'm glad I was able to travel. What started out as a very sad day and life path has turned in to the most beautiful and exciting time of my life. I couldn't be happier and more thankful for the heartache that put me right here right now.

I will be forever tied to the turtle and in the most personal of ways, since I now sport a turtle tattoo on my left wrist, bottom side. It is sitting just at the spot that you place two fingers to take a pulse, which was chosen for that exact reason. This turtle is a symbol of my life in the simplest of ways - life!

Thanks Zeena for the reminder of why I love turtles and the special place they hold in my heart. All this from a little e-mail about a very unique pair of stitching scissors. Isn't life funny like that?!

I Dream A Little Dream

This is probably one of my favorite pictures ever. It has taken me a while to get a copy of this photo, but I finally have it. Thank you, Todd. This picture was taken last year by Todd's oldest daughter, the daughter that aspires to be a photographer. From this photo I think she has some talent, I really hope she follows it up. It is a picture from her Aunt and Uncle's sun room looking out on the St. Lawrence River.

Todd and I, along with his girls went to visit his sister and her family (love them) last Christmas and it was awesome. I fell in love with their house, and not just because it is beautiful, it is, but because of the people and the way they make you feel - at home and welcome. The view in this picture is what I woke up to, with tea in hand and a book, out to the sun room, I head. It was heaven and a place and way of life I could get very comfortable with. Funny eh?

I lack the words to do this picture or the feelings it inspires justice. I just know when life gets like it will sometimes I escape to this place in my mind. It is a gift of immeasurable worth. Does it get any better than this?

It's A Wonderful Life

Wow! What a wonderful life I live. I sit here just baffled at the idea of where my life was not too long ago and where it is at this very moment.

There is no one particular thing that has happened or any one person responsible for my sense of peace, and peace is exactly what I feel. There are many contributing factors to my happiness. I have the most amazing friends in my life and I couldn't make it through one day without each and every one of you. I know I could survive, but I guess what I'm really trying to say is that it just wouldn't be the same without you. I share my day to day life with two amazing young ladies that bring me such happiness, although I struggle with both girls at times, I still am able to find happiness within my relationship with each of them. I don't even know where to begin in trying to explain the feelings of peace when speaking of the man in my life. Those that know me well, know of what I speak. Whether he gets it, one never really knows. He is too cute for words. I'm still struck by moments of 'Wow!'

Cute Boy and I went away together last weekend which was a total blast. I was a bit fearful that after the weekend ended I'd have a feeling of let down. That feeling of what do I have to look forward to now kind of thing. I did delay my return to reality a bit longer than I should have, but all things considered I didn't stay away too long. Being away for the weekend and having no pressure from anywhere, being 'just' a girlfriend, not a mother, not an employee, not a cook, not a cleaner, nothing more than just 'me' being a girlfriend... nothing could have been better. I couldn't put a price on a gift like that, not ever. The weekend away was just what this weary, sometimes wrung-at-both-ends woman needed!

My life is not without worry right now, and how I'm not going insane is beyond me. I'm trying very much right now to look at things from a positive perspective. I can't do anything to change the stresses in my life, so I'll deal with each issue as it arises and not panic. I knew the moment of stress with which I'm dealing would happen. It was always just a matter of when, never if. I know without a doubt I'm in a good place mentally or I'd not be able to handle this current stress with such calm. I think I'm finally growing up. Imagine that one for a good laugh.

I do have some great things to look forward to in the next little while. I'm hoping when I wake up in the morning I can find the gumption to go for a run. My first run since Thanksgiving. I've skirted the issue long enough. I'm tired of feeling overweight. I consistently wear a size 4 and I'm whining that I can't fit in my 2's and 1's.... get a grip. Run is what I want to do, so that is what I'm going to do again. I miss it more than I thought possible.

I'm going to be getting together with Mary and Krista this coming weekend. I always look forward to these getting together with these incredible women. I can never do justice to the fun we have, especially when trying to put it to words in my blog. I try yet fail miserably. The best of women, a barbecue, Corona and Cute Boy's Raspberry biscuits. Awwww, life is sweet!

This is what brings me full circle. Where I was, to where I am right now, stresses and all, I'm right where I want to be. I've said it a few times, I wouldn't change a single thing if it didn't put me right here right now. I would gladly take every mistake, every tear and every heartache if it is that that has blessed my life as I know it today!

Sweet Dreams

Peace and Contentment

Do you ever wake up and know that the day is going to be a good one? For no particular reason you have a sense of peace? I'm a morning person, so waking up in a good mood is nothing new to me, but this is different.

I woke up this morning and felt awesome. I can't pinpoint what exactly is making me feel this way. Nothing in life has changed since I went to bed last night. Slept like crap to the point that I was up reading a book at 1:30AM. The stresses and issues are still present, if not more so this coming week.

I'm going away on the weekend (sorry Wee Krista) and it could be that I'm looking forward to that, although I don't think thats it either. I've been looking forward to this trip for a while now.

I don't know why I have this feeling and at this point I don't care. I have it, it's mine and I'm going to love it while I have it. Who knows what the next minute, hour or day will bring, so I shall enjoy this feeling and deal with whatever comes my way, good, bad or otherwise.