Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Breathe In Breath Out - Repeat

Today is a day I dread more than these simple words could imply.

Princess is going to her dad's today. His girlfriend/fiancee (whatever) has her college graduation ceremony tomorrow and Princess wants to attend. Normally, her going to her dad's would be a good, or should be a good thing. Not in this case. I never want to imply that her dad does things to hurt her, but he does and says things to undermine me. He has gotten very good at it and I don't like the affect it has on her.

Since the school year is almost complete, Princess will be leaving school early today to be picked up and travel the 1.5 hours to her dad's. She's not even there yet and the pressure has begun. It started out with, 'can we pick you up on Monday'? The child is 14 y.o. in her first year of high school and you want her to cut her last full week of school and before review of the semester's workload in preparation of a final exam in a class that she is on the cusp of failing. Seriously? Priorities and responsibilities mean nothing to the man child.

I know Princess is stressed out about going away and her reasons are many. She has been working a lot to get some hours before she has 5 days off. She has barely seen her sister because of all the hours she's working. Her and I have had no time together and she's worried about leaving the dog. She has been packing and choosing outfits for the past week. The wonders of an anal retentive perfectionist are enough to drive her insane, not to mention drive those around her (me) crazy!

Add all this stuff to the fact that her dad is already putting pressure on her and she's not even walked out the door yet. It makes me want to scream holy terror! Her dad called last night to clarify some things. During this conversation he tells her to pack her bed and dresser because him and the girlfriend want her to move up there with them. Oh the obscenities I could start hurling on to this page, but I'll keep this PG! Asshole! Okay, so I lied a little bit.

Princess and I talked about these and other comments last night when laying in bed (she's been sleeping with me the last 3 nights - long hilarious story there) and her point of view is, this is her home. She is already struggling with the thoughts of being gone from this afternoon to Sunday. I'm thankful she is mature enough (although at times, too much so) and wont fall prey to her dad's manipulation tactics, unlike her older more susceptible sister. Some of his manipulation tactics have included, the bribes of her living with him and the offer of a tongue piercing. Thankfully Princess has a very sound sense of who she is and doesn't easily fall prey to manipulations even those plied at the hands of her dad.

I know at times I struggle with the responsibilities of being a single mother and balancing the mother part of my life, a 24 hour a day job, with those needs of a woman and a girlfriend. That being said, is it Sunday yet and my baby is home?

Thanks for being here whether you comment or not. I need to get the chatter out of my head.

12:10p ETA: Princess just called and her dad is now not getting here to pick her up until some time around 1:30p after lobbying to pick her up as soon as he could possibly get her. His reasoning (read: excuse) is that the bell technician wasn't there in time for them to get from there to here by the time they agreed.



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