Sunday, November 30, 2008

I Called It! (Strong language - sorry)

I called it! I knew this would happen, but that doesn't make it any better! Princess went to her asshole father's for the weekend . This is the first time she's visited in I don't know how long. Queenie has been living there for a month (don't even get me started on that one). Princess was to be home today, but what do you know? She's not going to be home until tomorrow. I called it! I knew this would happen! Why does it seem I'm the only one concerned about this girl's school attendance? Oh, that would be because I am!

I got the phone call from FN (F-nut) about 45 minutes ago and I've been sitting here fuming ever since. It is the first time I've heard his voice in about 2 years and instantly I felt sick at the sound of it. I was TOLD Princess wouldn't be home and I commented that is was nice of him to TELL me. I got a snippy comment about the weather in response. Convenient that the weather is a concern of his now, because it never used to be. He has been know to take leisurely drives in white out conditions. Once I got the snippy comment about him not wanting to risk the girls' safety, he got dial tone in his ear!

I don't usually swear on my blog nor in type written word, but I'm so fucking sick of his bullshit. As much as I don't have contact with him, the comments that get back to me from various people (my girls included) I'm sick of it. Soon enough, both of my girls will be old enough that they will be making their own decisions (Queenie 12 weeks, Princess 3.5 years) and I'm done with his manipulation.

His goal from day one has been to 'fuck me over' (his words) and I'm so tired of the manipulation of situations and the past. He says that I live my life in a way so as to make his a nightmare. Who cares what he says, but I hate dishonesty and people that aren't accountable to their own actions. It gets old to always be on guard for what he's going to attempt to do from one situation to the next. I feel that he still controls me to a point, when I feel like I do now. I have to reign in my emotions, deal with it the best I can and move on.

I trust him about as far as I could throw him. I know, as well as I know my own name, he will be prompting Princess, as will Queenie probably be, to move there. I can't worry about that anymore. If she's going to go, she's going to go. I know the pressure put on Princess to go up there for Christmas will be huge this weekend too. I don't talk to Princess about the holidays and what I want to do. I leave the decision to her. I can celebrate Christmas with her anytime. I try not to stoop to his level of pressure and talking garbage about him in front of my girls, as much as I know he does me. My hope is that the girls will grow up and see the manipulation for what it is and see that I tried to leave the garbage of our marriage at the door and not dump on them. We'll see how well my plan works!

I'm not going to let this ruin my night. Cute Boy is at work and I'm missing him huge. I'm going to walk the dog then light candles, turn on the christmas tree lights, get in my pajamas, have a tea and stitch while watching some television. All of my favorite things!

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