Friday, August 11, 2006

Turtle Tattoo and the best of friends and the best of days

What a day I've had. It is incredible the way you can wake up one day and it just seem like an ordinary day when it is anything but ordinary.

I'm making progress every day in getting stronger for myself and in turn for the girls. Today was a huge day in the separation/divorce process. I had to see the mortgage specialist. Looks like right now as though all systems are a go. It is a happy moment for me because I'll finally find some financial freedom (enough words starting with 'f'?) very soon. I'm so excited about that part and to be able to take the girls shopping without worrying so much is going to be a gift in itself. Happy dancing days that will be, let me tell ya!

I booked an appointment for my next tattoo. I would have gotten it done today, but Berto was busy so I'll have to wait until Monday... man is the weekend ever going to take a long time to go. Can't believe I'm wishing a weekend away ~ sad sad happenings there, but all for a good cause. The best cause really!

My tattoo will be of a turtle on the inside of my left wrist. Since I've been going through the end of my marriage turtles have taken on a very powerful meaning to me. In the early days of the separation, eventual divorce I found I hid away from the world in a means of protecting myself from my hurts and from hiding from them as well. My dearest friends would try to reach out to me, but I was too deep in the pain. The only way I could put to words what I was doing was to say I was 'turtling', so came the 'Tammy Turtle'. The more I thought about the turtle the more it would come to represent to me. The turtle no longer represents the hiding or protecting of myself, but the distance I've come from the all the pain I was hiding from in the darkest of days.

One of the best parts of my tattoo is that I was given money today for my birthday from 2 of the best friends a girl could ever have! Pam and Velda, I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for your friendship, support and love through all of this nightmare, but we're so close to finished and even closer to better days ahead.

Pam, I know I ride you at times, but you are incredible and that doesn't even come close to what I really would like to say. You've been here in the best of times in my life and more times than not lately, the worst. You just let me ramble on, and ramble on I do! I'd take that crappy job many times over that enabled me to meet you! It was the worst job, but brought me the best friend! Thanks for absolutely everything. Love ya!

Velda, Girl you are one of a kind and that is the highest of compliments. You sometimes know me like no other...you finish my sentences and some days that can be a challenge because half the time we never get those sentences finished. The laughter, tears and peace I feel when I'm with you is just the best of the best. I have a comfort with you and a friendship thats been tested and overcome the challenge. Love ya!

I ramble on today because my head is filled with the possibilities of tomorrow and the pains of yesterday seem just a bit farther away than normal. Strange what a simple tattoo could represent. This coming from a girl that would judge those with tattoos and now I'm just the total opposite. The count down is on for probably the coolest little turtle around!

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