Lighting and Lowe's

I took a day off work today to travel to the States to look at and purchase lighting for the house. Cute Boy was off today and this was the best day for us and I have to say, it couldn't have come at a better time. Life has been stressful for him and I lately. This house is supposed to be fun, but as of late, not so much.

I'm happy to report we came in a little under budget. This is money that we spend and will be reimbursed by the builder. It was hard to watch the cashier read out of 1084 and then to figure in the exchange to Canadian funds which took it to 1124, plus 150 to bring the goods back in to Canada.

I am going to contact Lowe's and report to them how much I enjoyed shopping in their store. I have a bit of rant about my own hometown and Lowe's. Lowe's was trying to build a store in my hometown and in the infinite wisdom shown by City Council, the bid was turned down. Why would you turn down a multi million dollar business that was going to create near to 200 jobs of 35,000 a year salary? Why? City Council would not approve the rezoning of an area from industrial to commercial. Lowe's would have been built not very far, and I mean NOT very far from a commercial zoned area and they wouldn't change the zoning. I have absolutely not faith in my City Council and this has not improved my opinion of them either. The same Council meeting they turned down Lowe's bid for a store, they discussed raising taxes 4% to 6%. Hmmmm, make sense to you? It sure as hell doesn't make sense to me.

All that aside, does it look like that is $1200 worth of lighting?

Do You Remember.....

The Smurfs?

That would be the colour, or close to the colour of the walls in the new house!
Things are starting to come together. I was really excited when I went to the house and was able to see things starting to take shape. It seems to me as though things are moving along at an 'okay' pace right now.

There are many decisions to be made yet and it seems, not a lot of time to do it. I'll be back with another post about some of the decisions we've made. Can you handle the suspense?

The Lifeguard - James Patterson

Everything is going right for lifeguard Ned Kelley. He is involved with Tess, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and what's more, a million dollars is within touching distance; his share of the score for the robbery of some world-class art. All he has to do is trigger alarms to throw the cops off the scent. But when Tess is brutally murdered and the others involved in the robbery are massacred, Ned is the prime suspect. He has been set up...

~~~~~~~~~~

Book #24 - I quite enjoyed this one. I didn't predict as much as I can with some James Patterson novels. Next book - Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs.

Bring On The Cold

Okay, not really. I'm not that crazy!

This would be the most beautiful scarf ever made. Little Miss Princess bought this for me for my birthday. It was crazy expensive, not because it is made of any special fabric, but because it was bought at Le Chateau. I love their clothing and accessories, but it is so expensive.

I think it will look just darling with my new coat and my old coat from last year. I've become quite the coat collector it seems. If money were not a factor, I could have bought another 3 or 4 coats yesterday alone.

Princess also bought me a white blouse for a great price. I will wear it next week when I'm working days and it matters how I look in the office. This week I'm 6p-2a, and I'm wearing track pant type things and Yankee hats. Some days I love my job!

I love love love my new scarf!

Me Quirky?

Quirky Things About Me

THE RULES - which I never follow!

Link to the person that tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Share 6 non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
Tag 6 people at the of your post by linking to their blog.
Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

1. I have a wicked hair phobia. I hate hair once removed from the head. If a hair touches me I'm freaking out until I can find it and remove it. I'm all heebie jeebie about it. If you can picture that, intensify it 10x with a wet hair. OMG

2. When I'm shopping and I'm buying something with a scent, I have to squeeze it and smell, even if it is a candle with plastic wrap.

3. I use this hand gesture along with raising my shoulders to indicate a hug to visually explain a feeling of comfort, love or something that makes me happy. (This one is hard to explain, but if you're ever with me you'll see me do it.)

4. I think I would have loved to be a mother/wife in a simpler time (June Cleaver).

5. I'm anal retentive about most things in my life ( I know you hate the word 'anal', V).

6. Panties are optional!

I'm not tagging because V took all my tags!

Do You Ever Just Not Know?

Do you ever have a feeling about something and you just can't figure it out?

No matter how you try to figure your mind around it, a clear answer does not come.

I'm in the strangest of places mentally. There are thoughts to be had, feelings to be felt and answers to be found. I'm searching and coming up empty on all fronts.

Flooring Fun

Chocolate

Mercier Pro Hardwood Flooring - Medium Brown

Slate Greige

The above pictures would be representative of the flooring Cute Boy and I chose for our house. The Medium Brown is hardwood and the other 2 flooring choices are a DuraCeramic. The look and texture of ceramic without the high maintenance and cold hard texture.

The medium brown hardwood flooring is what is going to be used through the majority of the house. It is a lot darker than I had in mind, as much as I tried to keep an open mind about colours prior to seeing our choices. It was 2 hours in the flooring shop that brought us to these decisions. Earlier today I was really on the fence still about the darkness of the floor, but the more I look it the more I'm loving it.

The chocolate flooring is what is being used in the front entrance and in the kitchen. We have yet to make a decision on the cabinet colours, but it looks right now as though we are leaning towards a lighter shade with a bit of stressing to it.

Slate Greige shown is the colour being used in all the bathrooms. I really like this colour because it is something that will hide any hairs on the floor that shall fall from my head. Those that know me well, know how creeped out I am by hair.

In closing, I will say this. The colour depiction is closest to form in the hardwood and close with the others, but not bang on.

Whaddya think so far?

We Have Feet

The progress on the house Week 1. As you can see it is the footings.

Cute Boy and I got a call last week about extending the date of final completion. We knew it was going to happen, but just the same - AUUUUGHHHH! We left a message with our real estate agent questioning who would be footing the bill of us risking an extra month rent in the condo. No answer back yet.

We have an appointment this coming Monday to meet with the kitchen design company. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I'm so afraid of making a mess of it all with colours not matching and grains being all wrong. Not to mention, that Cute Boy and I don't walk out of there annoyed at each other. Freaking out, I am.

That is all I have for now.

I'll be back soonest!

Some Days

Some days are a mixed bag of everything and anything.

I should be in bed. I should be in bed, but I also know this is something I have to get off my chest, out of my head and free from my thoughts.

I've had a day of so many emotions that I know the thought of sleep is just that, a thought. I just got home from hanging out with one of the most amazing women I've ever the honour of knowing and loving! My Miss Mary.

You see, Miss Mary used to be married to my cousin and is no longer. It has been years that Mary and I have been developing our friendship,. Our friendship really took hold when her marriage fell apart. It was through our e-mails, mine of support to her, that I saw in a more clear light, what an incredible woman my cousin let slip through his fingers. It is with great honour I can call this incredible woman my friend. I could go on and on singing her praises and Mary being Mary would let me too.

I come from an extremely dysfunctional family and it breaks my heart on many levels. I talk about it only to those I'm closest to because it is just too painful to have to deal with at the best of times. This is not the best of times.

I've not been close to my grandmother for quite some time because of the family dysfunction. I've been estranged from my father and his wife for 9 years now. As much as I tried to keep the problems with my father from spilling over into other areas of my life, it just couldn't be. My grandmother became too involved trying to mend the relationship with her son and granddaughter and using my daughter's as the instrument. It was then I had to step away from the situation. There needed to be some distance to save my children from becoming a pawn in a drama beyond their comprehension. This estrangement with my father is so very sad and something I've tried, to no avail, to fix numerous times over the last 9 years. My daughters have tried and I have tried. It was a few years ago that I just developed the approach of indifference to the situation. That isn't something I'm proud of, but in the interest of trying to protect my heart, and shield my children, I had to turn it off to a degree.

For the now. My grandmother has been admitted to hospital. Mary and I went to visit her this evening. I felt like I was an emotional cheater in having Mary with me when I went to see my grandmother after such a long time away. There gets to be a point that a change needs to be made and someone needs to step up to the plate and take a swing a making it better. That is what Mary and I did this evening. I know I could have never done it without her (in case you're reading - I love you).

I walked in to that hospital room with my heart beating out of my chest, sweating palms and shaky knees. It was insane. I took one look at my grandmother asleep in that bed and the tears just started rolling. My grandmother was asleep and we were just going to write a note to let her know we where there, until the nurse came in and spoke which woke my grandmother. When she saw Mary and I together she just about jumped out of her bed which is no easy feat from a woman in her condition. Hugs all around and a few more tears. I was really struggling with the words, so Mary, bless her soul, just chattered away as though she'd just seen my grandmother yesterday.

My grandmother advised me really early on in the visit that my father would be there to visit in about a half hour. I wasn't there to see anyone but her, so that my father would come visit too, was just the way it would have to be. True to form, my dad showed up when expected. Now, I don't cut my dad a lot of slack, but I have to say, I felt for him at that moment. He had no idea we were going to be there until he walked around the curtain. My dad and I were in the same room with one another for 45 minutes. That very well may be the longest we've been in one another's company since this whole mess started. Mary summed it up best by saying, "It was like an Uncle/Niece conversation not Father/Daughter".

Leaving my grandmother was tough, but taking the first step was tougher. I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I had the opportunity to do it. I am glad to have had Mary with me.

The night ended with Mary and I going for dinner at The Lonestar and catching up with one another's lives. I love this girl like you can't even know. I am truly blessed that my cousin married her to bring her in to my life. He may have let her slip away, but I wont.

I love you, girl!

With my head and heart unloaded, I'm off to bed.

Sweet dreams.

Motor Mouth - Janet Evanovich

Motor Mouth is the fast-paced, thrilling sequel to Metro Girl.

The racing season is over and Alexandra Barnaby and Sam Hooker are on the run, avoiding charges of grand theft auto, multiple counts murder, and the NASCAR awards banquet. ÝFrom Miami, Florida to Concord, North Carolina and back to Miami this is an action-packed multi-car-crash of shady dealings, stolen technology, drive-thru windows and destruction of personal property.

Don't miss the return of Barnaby, Hooker, Felicia and Rosa-the-cigar-roller...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

#23 - Well, not much to say. It was completely fluff and I finished it. Enough said.

Yankee Stadium Distance Challenge

Distance to go - 292.7

I didn't do a distance challenge for August. Zero is zero no matter how you look at it.

Now living in condo hell, Daisy no longer has a yard and needs to be walked a minimum of 2 times daily. She sometimes gets more walks than that, but I'm not always the one doing the walking. That would be Cute Boy, bless him.

The distance I walk isn't far. This isn't the type of hardcore work out I'm accustomed to nor muscle building. Only .76 each loop, but every little bit helps.

September
4 - 1.52
5 - 1.52
6 - 2.28
7 - 2.28
8 - 1.52
9 - 1.52
10 - 1.52
11 - 1.52
12 - 1.52
13 - 2.28
14 - 2.28
15 - 2.28
16 - .76
17 - 1.52
18 - .76
19 - 2.28
20 - 3.04
22 - .76
23 - 2.15
24 - .76
25 - .76
26 - .76
27 - 2.28
28 - 1.52
29 - 1.52
30 - 1.52 (42.58)

As I enter the distances, I find this might not be all that bad a thing, this condo hell of mine.

September End Distance Remaining - 250.12KM

Wildflower Rhapsody 55 hours

Last update photo for comparison

Where it sits today.

I'm still amazed with how much I enjoy working on this piece. I'm still scatterbrained about where I'm stitching and not focused on any one section. Each stitch needs to be crossed so, in the end does it really matter?

I'm working days this coming week and that means little to no stitching time. It will be somewhere near to 2 weeks before I'm back with another update. Can ya handle it?

As always, thanks for your kind comments!

Weight Watcher's Countdown

I've decided I'm going to join Weight Watchers again. I'm not joining right away which is the reason for the countdown.

I'm going to join the weekend after the Canadian Thanksgiving. I'll be joining October 18th - Saturday. I'm off weekends now, so I'm going to commit to Saturday morning meetings.

The reason I'm not joining until after Thanksgiving is because of Thanksgiving dinner at Cute Boy's sister's house. This woman is one of the most generous hosts and incredible cooks to ever cross my path. I know my strengths and weaknesses. There is no way I could be on plan with her palate temptations in my sight and much worse, grasp.

I've been thinking a lot the last couple days and I think this is something I need and money I need to spend. I think my biggest concern is spending the money and not being diligent in following the plan. Couple that with no gym membership, I'm apprehensive. I know I can do this without the paid-for weigh in. I've done it before, but right now, my head isn't focused enough to do this without the assistance of the WW staff.

I'm in no way giving myself card blanche to eat whatever I want until October 18th. I am still going to be conscientious when eating. It is who I am, for the most part, I'm just really struggling right now.

D-day is a long way off still, longer than I even imagined. I was shocked at just how long off when I counted down, but I feel a sense of peace already. WW is my comfort zone. WW is my security blanket. WW is my friend. WW is my opportunity for change. I'm excited!

36 days and counting.

We're Off And Running

I registered to do the CIBC Run for the Cure yesterday. Today my 'team' has grown to 5 members.

I'm so happy to report that the following people are participating:
Myself
Krista
Velda
Barb - V's sister
Ashlee - V's daughter

I can't wait to spend some quality time with these amazing woman!

Guess What This Is?

What is it you ask?

I'll tell you!

Jeans - 17
Capris - 8 (est. b/c some are still packed away)
Sporty - 7 (est b/c some are still packed away)
Casual - 6
Cords - 6
Dress - 3

Each number represents a pair of pants in the indicated category! Do you know how many of them still fit? Probably 8 pair, if that! That is not including the sporty pants because they are more forgiving, of course.

I've about had it. I used to be able to wear every single pair pants in that pile and now I can't even wear 1/3 of them. That is disgusting. That pile of pants is representative of so many things.

1. Financial independence
2. Financial stupidy
3. Bargain shopping - Paid full price for only one pair of pants in that pile.
4. Many hours pumping iron and running my ass off - literally
5. Separation/Divorce and poor eating on account
6. Happiness
7. Dates with Cute Boy
8. Laughter and bonding with girlfriends

Now, what the majority of that pile represents to me is: FAILURE! I've failed at maintaining my healthy weight range and my ability to stay lean. I know I'm vain. I can hear some now.

Can you imagine what Cute Boy would say if he knew I moved all those pants with me to this dinky condo and barely any of them fit me? He'd have my hide! LOL

I'm really not in as much of a blah mood as my last couple posts might indicate. Just taking stock of where I was, where I am and what I should be doing about it!

That's a lot of pants, eh. Keep in mind when I was in my marriage I might have had 5 pair of pants in total and then the weight loss began then the emotional turmoil of a marriage ending. Let me tell, as upset as I was then, I had a hell of a time shopping! The Gap, Old Navy and American Eagle, they loved me!

Our Relationship Is Changing

The Way I See It #27

Do not kiss your children so they will

kiss you back but so they will kiss their

children, and their children's children.

~Noah benShea

Poet/Philosopher

I think it is fitting that today I stopped at Starbucks and my cup message be one of my favorite messages. I made the decision while reading my cup and drinking my Non Fat Chai Tea Latte that I need to change my ways.

My ways with food and money need to change. I'm in the worst mental place ever in regards to my body and food. It has been years since I've felt this way. I wake up every day dreading the thought of getting dressed. Nothing fits and I'll be damned if I'll spend another penny on more clothing in whatever size! I'll just not do it.

I'm sick of myself, I'm sick of my stomach weight. My middle is like the inside of a pillow. It is all pushy and moldable (is that even a word?). I hate it. There was a time, in a different life, that I was starting to muscularly cut in with abs near the bottom of my rib cage. Now, there is nothing but a flab of flubber.

There are things I can be doing and things I should be doing and I'm not doing them! I no longer have the drive to push myself to be more than I am. I like who I am as a person as far as how I live in regards to treating other people, but I don't like that I no longer make myself a priority. I'm sick of being what I am physically, but I don't want to move or be prompted to move in a scheduled structured way. What the hell is wrong with me? As I've said, I used to be very driven and motivated. I loved working out. I loved the feel of the sweat and the burn of a muscle ache. Where did that go? What happened to change all that?

I need to do some internalizing and prioritizing to figure out what is up with me. Oh ya, what's up? ---- My weight is up and my clothing size is up. I can't even imagine what is going on in regards to my overall health! AUUGHHHHH

Stitching Bling

I'm so honoured to be the recipient of a Scissor Fob, (stitching bling) from Cathey. It is just the most beautiful little Angel scissor fob. I love simplicity of the clear beads. I've not attached it yet to my scissor because I want to buy a new pair. I'm such a sucker for shopping!

Cathey, you are too sweet to send me something. Your card and words mean a lot to me.

You truly are one of the most thought of women in my life. The funny thing is, someone reading this blog from an outsiders perspective would have no idea that we've never met. Another point to ponder is, you and many others that read this blog probably know me better than those I'm related to or see on a more regular basis. I'm truly blessed with friends such as yourself in my life even if it is only through the words expressed on this old computer screen.

Thank you, sweetie!

Running (or Walking) For A Cure

I've decided to sign up for the CIBC Run For The Cure.

I'm excited, but truth be told I'm scared to death. I've not run in what seems like forever and the thoughts of this commitment is more than I'm prepared for mentally. I don't want to make light of the fundraising, so I will keep in mind the reason I'm doing this!

I volunteered to do this run (walk) and I did it with the knowledge of what I'm getting in for, both mentally and physically. This being unlike a patient fighting breast cancer. There is no warning, no mental preparation! So, on that note this run is going to be something I'm honoured to be doing and not something I'm going to be dreading. I will run/walk and do what needs to be done. This event, for me, is about raising money and not about the physically pain I'm going to feel after such a long lay off from running or from being physical in any form, for that matter.

There is a possibility of a very special person participating along with me. I will leave that for the special person to make their own announcement.

I don't often petition for funds, but feel free to donate. No amount is too small an amount. A twoonie will do!

From the bottom of my heart - thank you!

When You Do This...

You get this....

Cute Boy and I took Daisy apple picking this afternoon and she was spent by the time all was said and done.

After picking apples we went to visit Cute Boy's sister and BIL for BIL's birthday today. I'm ashamed to say that Daisy was a snob to Cute Boy's sister. She wouldn't sit with Gloria or give her the time of day, really. She couldn't get enough of Dave nor the chipmunk watching, which was absolutely hilarious. My dog has developed a love of chipmunk watching and chasing if I'd allow such behaviour. What is a dog mommy to do when her baby grows up to be a monster?

~*~*~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY~*~*~

I'm hijacking Tammy's blog to tell all her readers that today is her birthday! No, I didn't hack it, I do her design so I signed in legitimately...altho she'll probably kill me now ;)

So Tammy my friend, I love you more than you know. I hope your birthday is everything that you deserve and I can't wait to take you out for dinner in a couple weeks when your life is settled and we can laugh and cry and have fun. You are such a special woman in so many people's lives (Princess, Queen, Cute Boy, Pam, Suzanne, me and so many more) you have no idea. I hope your birthday today is a very very special day and that you are treated ROYALLY!!! Love you with all my heart. Happy Birthday TT!

Wildflower Rhapsody - 50 hours

Imagine a blog dedicated to stitching and there is finally a picture and a picture pertaining to stitching no less.

I didn't realize I was so close to a another 5 hour block or I would have worked harder at finding some stitching time to get the opportunity to share another picture with you all.

I'm really enjoying this piece and that is somewhat of a miracle with all the colour changes. I think my love has more to do with the lack of stitching time than anything else. It's not a job right now, but an escape, an opportunity to do something just for me and something I really have to struggle to find the time.

I hope not to be so long with another update. We know the road being paved with good intentions and all that jazz. I bet it's another couple weeks anyway! How sad is that?

Thanks for looking, my wonderful cheerleader friends.

Can't Do Condo!

It has been near to forever since I've been here.

Life has spun out of control in the last few days. I'm going to do an overview of it all. I know I'll miss some important parts of my wonderful, but exhausting life.

House/Condo:
I met with the lawyer today to sign the paperwork for the closing, which is tomorrow. Cute boy and I spent a bit of time at the house today trying to clean it up. He doesn't see the reasoning of my putting forth so much time and effort. This is the first home for the people moving in. I don't want to leave it a mess, nor would I want to move in to a mess. It doesn't seem proper.

The condo is a nightmare. I hate it hate it hate it. I've lived in my own home for 14 years and to now have to live in a shared dwelling is more than this mother princess can stand. Cute Boy and I are acquaintances of the person that rented this condo prior to us. In a word - YUCK! In all honesty, I want Cute Boy to sweep the condo for mini cameras! LOL No seriously, I do.

Daisy seems to be the one adapting the best. I find that downright hilarious since she is the one I was most worried about.

Is it bad that we've only been there for 2 days and I'm already counting down.

New House:
I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but our original house plans were too big for the lot. Our lot was represented as 50' frontage but is really only 46'. We've had to rework the plans which had to then be surveyed again and then back to the permit office. Our plans were presented to the permit officer yesterday with explanation from our contractor. The officer feels for us and is going to try and fast track our plans and permit. We are hoping for next week to have a ground break. Imagine that! WOOOHOOO!!!

Princess:
She is not liking the condo living all that much, not that I can blame her. She has been spending the night at her best friend's a lot and I can completely understand her desire to do so. I'd be staying at her best friend's too if I could.

She started at her new high school on Tuesday and loves it. She is really happy in her new school. Happy Princess = easier time for mother.

Queenie:
She is in a very bad place. Her relationship of 2 years has ended and it is difficult for her. I knew it wouldn't last, but she believed it was forever. You know, the folly of youth. I hate to see her suffering a broken heart and the reasons for the split are many, as much as she may only see one reason. I had the vantage point of seeing the relationship from the view of a parent and an outsider. It was easy for me to see, from a mother's view and from my own experiences, this relationship was toxic. I'm at a loss as what to do to help. I would love for these changes to bring her home, back to school and on the path to a normal teenager. I do not foresee it happening, but a mother can hope, right?!

Stitching:
I've not been stitching much. As much as I'm sad about my lack of stitching time I understand it. I miss it though. When I do pick up my stitching again, hopefully this evening, it'll be like reuniting with a long lost friend.

All the stuff that I have going on, I have to say, I love my life. My life is not always easy, but I'm so happy. I'm blessed in more ways than I can count. I have a boyfriend that I adore and in him I find the strength of the likes of which I'm still amazed. My children are different from one another, but two young ladies I'm proud to have in my life. There is not a single thing I'd change that would take from anywhere but here!