A Mini Cold Front Has Moved In
I've been delaying this post for the entire day. Now, that I'm dogged tired, is probably not the best time to start either. On second thought, it might just be THE best time since I'll be less guarded in how I impart my feelings and thoughts.
Todd and I went to look at THE house yesterday. OMG I can't even begin to describe to you how beautiful it is. There is a minor/major catch right now though. The listing for the house ran out on Wednesday, so the house isn't officially on the market at the moment. It has been on for a bit now and had a few serious offers, but deals fell through. The deals didn't fall through because of problems with the house, but for what I believe is stupid reasons on the part of the buyer. The one person/couple couldn't secure financing (unfortunate for them) and the other person wanted a new furnace installed in the garage. Seriously?
The house has a porch around 3/4 of the house. It is awesome. What I could see of it under the snow, anyway. When we walked up the front stairs, right off we saw 2 perfectly formed bird's nests. They were soooo pretty. Can bird's nests be pretty? The property is 2.5 Acres and it is surrounded by views of water and trees on every side. There are neighbours, but you don't see them from any of the windows really, and if you do it's not something you notice right away.
The kitchen is beautifully laid out with a gorgeous island center and cupboards galore with crown moulding, which adds a real finished look. The counter top is in really good shape. There would be room for my 'country kitchen table'. Oh, if you could have seen how excited I got at the thought of that. There are newly installed french doors leading out from the kitchen to the porch. Oh my word!
The master bedroom/en suite is huge with stunning views. If I'm saying stunning views in winter, you can only imagine what I'll be like in the fall, because let me make one thing crystal clear - I Hate Winter! The 2 other bedrooms are a good size and very workable.
The stairs to the basement are super wide with french doors to the side of the stairs leading to the laundry/storage room. The basement is drywalled, but the ceiling work has yet to be done. There is enough room down there to install another bathroom and bedroom if you choose. A pool table would also fit along with the bedroom. The possibilities with the basement alone are endless.
There is a detached garage with a loft - baseball party central if I've ever seen one. It is large enough to be a double car garage, but right now is a single with a doorway.
As happy as I am that both Todd and I love the house there is a sense of sadness in me because of Lily. It's not that I blame her, I really don't it's just that I would like one time in this 'new' life of mine that I not get resistance about every single thing I do. It is exhausting. I will remember I am the mother and I will make the decisions that impact this family.
I love both of my children, as much as they are both in different places right now, I want nothing more than for them to be happy in life and grow to be positive contributors to society, be healthy and find peace in life. Lily and I have become a lot closer since Alyssa isn't home now and I guess what I really want is for the one person I'm closest to and love so very much, to be happy for me and not so caught up in how everything is going to affect her. Is that selfish of me? I'm not sure. I don't think it is. I've always had a difficult time standing up for myself and putting myself ahead of others, but I really want this. I think, even considering all the changes in store Todd and I could make a good life together!
I made reference to a 'mini cold front moving in' and that would be in direct reference to Lily's attitude. She is quiet. I understand the quiet, I get like that when I'm heavy in thought or extremely tired myself. I don't know what to think and does it really matter what I think? I'm just going about my day to day business and doing things as I always do and hopefully that in itself will give her some sense of security.
I don't know! I'm just torn because I'm so happy, but have the cloud of doom from Lily hanging over my head. Imagine when things really start to move. Todd and I know we both want country living and this house is the area we want and the price is right as well. Things right now are in the earliest of stages and the child is not dealing well. How are things going to go when I have the sign put on the front lawn? What will she do when/if my house sells and things really start moving, literally and figuratively? Oh, if nothing else, life will prove to be interesting in the coming months.
Thanks for sticking with me until the end of this post. As much as it's all over the place, I know in my heart of hearts what I want and what I think will make me very happy. So, with that final thought, I conclude this entry.
Love ya's
9 comments:
Oh dear Lilly is giving you the cold shoulder!
I'm curious are you still going to be in the same general area/ outside town? Or is this a major move? If its not a major move, I wouldn't get too upset about it, she won't be loosing her friends.
I'm curious, your profile says you're in Canada... do you mind me asking where? You can answer that via e-mail if you want tkd_chick at hotmail dot com
Hey Tammy,
I guess you have to do what you know will make the family happiest overall, even if that makes one member unhappier for a while.
I get this from our daughter, she never ever wants to move as she loves her school and friends. And while we are not actively trying to move, it is a possibility in the future, not least because of the secondary schools near us.
((hugs))
Jen
WoW! The house sounds amazing.
Crossing my fingers for you that it all works out.
xx
well you know how I feel. And a gorgeous house! Things will work out hon!
That's great you loved the house: hope you will get it !!!
For Lily, she will eventually leave the house so I really think you should do what is better for you now,even though it is going to be hard for Lily to accept the change. YOu knwo, when it will be her time to live her life, she won't have second thought about doing what she feels is right for her. That's the natural cycle of life.
((((hugs)))))
The house sounds wonderful!
I'm so sorry Lily is having a rough time. Very different scenario, but I faced the same thing from our daughter when we moved. It was a good move for the family, but she only saw how it affected her. HUGS and good thoughts headed your way.
When I was in High School, my parents were making some decision that I totally didn't like (it was so important now that I can't even remember what it was). An older and wiser friend told my dad, in my earshot, that he had to make decisions for the family--whether the family agreed or not. He was reminded that it would not be long until we kids were gone and he had to live in the decisions he made. As I said, I don't remember what the decision was, but I remember the advice. Lily is old enough to adjust, or not, depending on how she chooses to play it. But you have to live in the decision a lot longer. And if I remember correctly, the description of the house says 10 minutes out of town--truly that it not far and will not cramp her activities nearly as much as she thinks (from someone who lived 15 miles from her nearest friend, 20 miles from school nad 60 miles to the nearest movie/real restraunt/etc for her teen years). ((hugs))
This house sounds like heaven! I love country houses :o)
I'm sorry that Lilly is having a hard time with it all. Kids don't like their life being turned upside down. I really hope for your sake that she will come around. Being torn in two is not doing you any good. Do you think she'd get used to it once she's moved there?
Hang in there Tammy! Hugs!
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